Day 11 - I hear his voice in my head

I still hear his voice in my head. I hear him saying "Momma", I hear him trying to explain something to his brother Jason, I hear him yelling for Michael or Gideon to come do something for him, I hear him telling his daddy what he wants to eat.

I am afraid I will forget his little voice. I don't remember what the other boys sounded like when they were little, not really. I am afraid I will no longer hear him say "I love you Momma" in my head.

Three months have passed already, nearly 4. The tears don't flow as often now but there are always near the surface ready for just the right trigger...the green nail polish that he painted the bathroom with is still there, his little shoes - wondering what to do with them now, getting ready to spend a weekend at Wild Adventures - a trip he was so looking forward to this year, so many things that can be divided by 4 or 6, can't be divided easily by 5.

His voice may fade over the years, I may have to rely on videos to hear it. I may forget his birth marks and scars. I may forget a lot, but I will never forget how much I loved him. Should I live to be 110 not a day will pass that I will not miss him and not a day will go by that I will not look forward to being with him again in Heaven.