I wish I could have a video chat with Heaven
I wish I could see if Silas has grown
If his hair is still blonde or if it turned back to brown
I would ask him who he has met and who he spends time with
I would show him that my hair is growing out again like he wanted me to
I would show him the chickens we got, and the new dog
I would be able to see that he really is well and happy.
I wish I could have a video chat with Heaven every day
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Monday, October 13, 2014
A letter of encouragement to AWANA parents
If you do not know, AWANA club is a Bible memorization program that many churches offer for children and teens. AWANA stands for Approved Workmen Are Not Ashamed. It is based on 2 Timothy 2:15 "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
A typical AWANA night is divided up into 4 parts. 1. Opening prayer and pledges to the American flag, the Bible, and the AWANA flag. (Parts 2-4 are in different orders for different age groups). 2. Counsel time, a time of instruction from the Bible that is geared towards the age group being taught. All of the children sit together and listen to a teacher. 3. Handbook time. The children are usually separated into smaller groups and each child has the opportunity to recite Bible verses that they have memorized from their handbooks to their group leader. They can earn awards for memorizing scriptures and for completing their handbooks. 4. Game time. All of the children in an age group (say K-2nd grade, or 3-5th grade) gather around the game circle and play games directed by an adult leader.
AWANA has programs for ages 2 through Highschool, although my observation is that around here most churches only have AWANA programs through 5th grade and then offer something different for older children.
When I was younger, I was in AWANA for a few years. I participated in the teen program and I helped as a leader in training with the younger groups. A couple of years I worked with Sparks, the program for K-2nd grade, and another year I worked with girls in the 3-5th grade group.
I have honestly forgotten many things about my experience with AWANA back then, like what years I participated! But that doesn't really matter. What matters is what I have never forgotten. I have never forgotten the scriptures I learned during that time. They have stayed with me all of these years. It has literally been about 20 years now, but those scriptures have been written on my heart. I cannot always quote every scripture I have learned at the drop of a hat, but they are there and the Lord has brought them to my memory at all of the right times.
Isaiah 55:11 says "So shall My Word be that goes forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto Me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it."
God's Word is powerful. When we put it in our hearts through study and memorization it will always be there. We may or may not be able to quote the scriptures we have learned at a moments notice, but when we need them, the Holy Spirit will bring them to our remembrance and they will help guide us. His Word will always accomplish His will in our lives!
So now, to the parents who have their children in the AWANA program, and to the parents who are teaching your children scriptures. Don't lose heart! Don't give up! These scriptures that you are helping your children learn now will impact them for the rest of their lives! You may struggle teaching your children the scriptures (like I do!), but it will not be in vain. The Lord has a plan, He has sent out His Word, and it will accomplish His will in your child's life. Every moment spent working with your child on scripture memorization will be worth it.
Here are some practical tips for helping your child memorize.
~ Take their handbook with you in the car and have them practice while you drive around during the week.
~ Have your child's handbook next to the bed and make it part of the bedtime routine, working on verses for a few minutes every night before bed.
~ Keep your child's Bible and Handbook in a bag such as a canvas bag or back pack so you can keep track of it easily and so your child will be less likely to lose them on club night.
~ For longer verses, break them down and memorize only short parts of the verses at a time and then put them altogether.
~ If your child does not have a CD with the books of the Bible songs on them you can do a web search for "Books of the Bible song" on video.
~ Memorize the scriptures along with your child! Have your child test you to see if you have learned it correctly.
~ Write the scriptures out on index cards to carry around with you, or to post on the walls in your home. In front of the bathroom mirror is a good place.
~ Work on two or three sections of your child's book each week so that they can complete the book in 1 year.
~ Encourage your child! Tell them how important memorizing scripture is and show this to them by being interested in what they are learning and learn the scriptures yourself!
~ When you pick your child up from AWANA, take a look at their book to see which sections they were able to pass, and what you need to start working on next.
~ If you ever have any questions, don't hesitate to ask your child's AWANA leader!
~ Don't worry if your child memorizes "too quickly". The scriptures will be gone over again in review and if your child completes their whole book before the AWANA year is over, your child's leader can provide more material for them to learn.
~ Don't worry if your child memorizes "too slowly". My children have not always finished their books by the end of the year, but I know that what they did hide in their hearts will always be there.
~ Pray with your children. Ask the Lord to help them hide His Word in their hearts. Psalm 119:11 "Thy Word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against Thee."
This program offers such a wonderful opportunity for both you and your child. I hope and pray that you have been encouraged by this and that it will inspire you to be involved in what your child is learning in AWANA. God's Word is the most powerful tool in the life of the believer, what a wonderful thing to put in the hands and hearts of our children.
A typical AWANA night is divided up into 4 parts. 1. Opening prayer and pledges to the American flag, the Bible, and the AWANA flag. (Parts 2-4 are in different orders for different age groups). 2. Counsel time, a time of instruction from the Bible that is geared towards the age group being taught. All of the children sit together and listen to a teacher. 3. Handbook time. The children are usually separated into smaller groups and each child has the opportunity to recite Bible verses that they have memorized from their handbooks to their group leader. They can earn awards for memorizing scriptures and for completing their handbooks. 4. Game time. All of the children in an age group (say K-2nd grade, or 3-5th grade) gather around the game circle and play games directed by an adult leader.
AWANA has programs for ages 2 through Highschool, although my observation is that around here most churches only have AWANA programs through 5th grade and then offer something different for older children.
When I was younger, I was in AWANA for a few years. I participated in the teen program and I helped as a leader in training with the younger groups. A couple of years I worked with Sparks, the program for K-2nd grade, and another year I worked with girls in the 3-5th grade group.
I have honestly forgotten many things about my experience with AWANA back then, like what years I participated! But that doesn't really matter. What matters is what I have never forgotten. I have never forgotten the scriptures I learned during that time. They have stayed with me all of these years. It has literally been about 20 years now, but those scriptures have been written on my heart. I cannot always quote every scripture I have learned at the drop of a hat, but they are there and the Lord has brought them to my memory at all of the right times.
Isaiah 55:11 says "So shall My Word be that goes forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto Me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it."
God's Word is powerful. When we put it in our hearts through study and memorization it will always be there. We may or may not be able to quote the scriptures we have learned at a moments notice, but when we need them, the Holy Spirit will bring them to our remembrance and they will help guide us. His Word will always accomplish His will in our lives!
So now, to the parents who have their children in the AWANA program, and to the parents who are teaching your children scriptures. Don't lose heart! Don't give up! These scriptures that you are helping your children learn now will impact them for the rest of their lives! You may struggle teaching your children the scriptures (like I do!), but it will not be in vain. The Lord has a plan, He has sent out His Word, and it will accomplish His will in your child's life. Every moment spent working with your child on scripture memorization will be worth it.
Here are some practical tips for helping your child memorize.
~ Take their handbook with you in the car and have them practice while you drive around during the week.
~ Have your child's handbook next to the bed and make it part of the bedtime routine, working on verses for a few minutes every night before bed.
~ Keep your child's Bible and Handbook in a bag such as a canvas bag or back pack so you can keep track of it easily and so your child will be less likely to lose them on club night.
~ For longer verses, break them down and memorize only short parts of the verses at a time and then put them altogether.
~ If your child does not have a CD with the books of the Bible songs on them you can do a web search for "Books of the Bible song" on video.
~ Memorize the scriptures along with your child! Have your child test you to see if you have learned it correctly.
~ Write the scriptures out on index cards to carry around with you, or to post on the walls in your home. In front of the bathroom mirror is a good place.
~ Work on two or three sections of your child's book each week so that they can complete the book in 1 year.
~ Encourage your child! Tell them how important memorizing scripture is and show this to them by being interested in what they are learning and learn the scriptures yourself!
~ When you pick your child up from AWANA, take a look at their book to see which sections they were able to pass, and what you need to start working on next.
~ If you ever have any questions, don't hesitate to ask your child's AWANA leader!
~ Don't worry if your child memorizes "too quickly". The scriptures will be gone over again in review and if your child completes their whole book before the AWANA year is over, your child's leader can provide more material for them to learn.
~ Don't worry if your child memorizes "too slowly". My children have not always finished their books by the end of the year, but I know that what they did hide in their hearts will always be there.
~ Pray with your children. Ask the Lord to help them hide His Word in their hearts. Psalm 119:11 "Thy Word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against Thee."
This program offers such a wonderful opportunity for both you and your child. I hope and pray that you have been encouraged by this and that it will inspire you to be involved in what your child is learning in AWANA. God's Word is the most powerful tool in the life of the believer, what a wonderful thing to put in the hands and hearts of our children.
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Everyone can do something...
This is what I wrote last year, but I would really like to share it again. Seriously, everyone CAN do something.
What are you going to do?
Friday, September 5, 2014
We can't do nothing
Why do we continue to "go gold", spread the word, and raise funds for childhood cancer. After all, Silas isn't here anymore, we can't help him anymore.
Why? Because we can't do nothing! We know now, we know that children are being diagnosed every day with cancer. We know that the funding for childhood cancer research is pitiful. We know that more needs to be done to support families fighting cancer, more needs to be done to provide researchers with the resources they need to do their jobs, more needs to be done to find less toxic treatments.
More needs to be done.
We are not millionaires. We have a tight budget. But that doesn't mean we can't do something. We can't fund all childhood cancer research by ourselves, but we can do something. We can tell others about the need and maybe some of those others will be able to donate large amounts of money, or maybe if we tell enough people and each of them donates a little, it will add up to a lot.
One of the things we have done this year, along with another family, is make bead bracelets with turtles and gold ribbon charms on them. We have been selling them to raise funds for childhood cancer research! The supplies for this are relatively inexpensive and I have bought them off and on over time rather than all at once. People seem to really like them and we have sold a dozen already this month! We have several events coming up and I hope to sell all the bracelets I have! (83 at last count but I plan on making more today)
Childhood cancer facts for today.
~The American Cancer Society donates only 1% of funds raised to childhood cancers.
~3 out of 5 children who survive cancer will suffer long term side effects from the cancer and treatment.
~Since the 1950's the overall cure rate for childhood cancers has gone from less than 10% to nearly 80% (although some childhood cancers the cure rate is still 0%).
Why? Because we can't do nothing! We know now, we know that children are being diagnosed every day with cancer. We know that the funding for childhood cancer research is pitiful. We know that more needs to be done to support families fighting cancer, more needs to be done to provide researchers with the resources they need to do their jobs, more needs to be done to find less toxic treatments.
More needs to be done.
We are not millionaires. We have a tight budget. But that doesn't mean we can't do something. We can't fund all childhood cancer research by ourselves, but we can do something. We can tell others about the need and maybe some of those others will be able to donate large amounts of money, or maybe if we tell enough people and each of them donates a little, it will add up to a lot.
One of the things we have done this year, along with another family, is make bead bracelets with turtles and gold ribbon charms on them. We have been selling them to raise funds for childhood cancer research! The supplies for this are relatively inexpensive and I have bought them off and on over time rather than all at once. People seem to really like them and we have sold a dozen already this month! We have several events coming up and I hope to sell all the bracelets I have! (83 at last count but I plan on making more today)
Childhood cancer facts for today.
~The American Cancer Society donates only 1% of funds raised to childhood cancers.
~3 out of 5 children who survive cancer will suffer long term side effects from the cancer and treatment.
~Since the 1950's the overall cure rate for childhood cancers has gone from less than 10% to nearly 80% (although some childhood cancers the cure rate is still 0%).
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Did you know?
If you are reading this, you probably already know that kids get cancer. If you know me, you know that kids get cancer. When Silas was first diagnosed we were told that on average 1 in 330 children would get cancer before the age of 20. That has changed however. This year there is a new statistic and it is not encouraging, now on average 1 in 285 children will be diagnosed with cancer before the age of 20! Cancer among children is on the rise, but funding has not improved. Less than 4% of government funding for cancer research goes to childhood cancer research.
You can help fill the gap by making donations to reputable childhood cancer organizations that fund research. The following organizations do a tremendous work for kids fighting cancer and will handle your money wisely and use it to find a cure.
www.stbaldricks.org
www.curechildhoodcancer.org
www.alexslemonade.org
Check out these organizations for yourself! Make a donation, share information with your friends and family, participate in fundraisers.
Remember, every dollar counts! Even if you can only afford $1.
You can help fill the gap by making donations to reputable childhood cancer organizations that fund research. The following organizations do a tremendous work for kids fighting cancer and will handle your money wisely and use it to find a cure.
www.stbaldricks.org
www.curechildhoodcancer.org
www.alexslemonade.org
Check out these organizations for yourself! Make a donation, share information with your friends and family, participate in fundraisers.
Remember, every dollar counts! Even if you can only afford $1.
Monday, September 1, 2014
September is Childhood Cancer Awareness month
Yep, kids get cancer too. Its hard to fathom that anyone would not know that, but I have met so many people now that don't know it I am not surprised any more.
Things are changing though, people are learning. This year more people than ever are "going gold" for kids with cancer! Many buildings, bridges, and monuments are shining gold lights this year in honor of kids with cancer. Even in our little community I have had people contact me asking about fundraisers this year for childhood cancer.
Today our family will start our "million mile run/walk/ride" for Childhood cancer. We will be walking. Our goal this year is 25 miles each for the month. We have a website set up for that fundraiser, if you would like to sponsor us please check it out! You are also welcome to join our team and run/walk/ride with us! http://www.alexslemonade.org/mypage/1118031
Join us. Spread the word. We will make a difference if we all do something, even if its only a little something.
Fact for the day: World wide, approximately 91,250 children die from cancer each year. That's 250 every day.
Things are changing though, people are learning. This year more people than ever are "going gold" for kids with cancer! Many buildings, bridges, and monuments are shining gold lights this year in honor of kids with cancer. Even in our little community I have had people contact me asking about fundraisers this year for childhood cancer.
Today our family will start our "million mile run/walk/ride" for Childhood cancer. We will be walking. Our goal this year is 25 miles each for the month. We have a website set up for that fundraiser, if you would like to sponsor us please check it out! You are also welcome to join our team and run/walk/ride with us! http://www.alexslemonade.org/mypage/1118031
Join us. Spread the word. We will make a difference if we all do something, even if its only a little something.
Fact for the day: World wide, approximately 91,250 children die from cancer each year. That's 250 every day.
Monday, August 11, 2014
Too many roosters...a chicken update
It is becoming apparent that we have too many roosters. There was a chance this would happen since we chose "straight run" chicks. Out of 14 chickens it looks like 7 may be roosters. From what I have heard 1 rooster per 6 or 7 hens is all you need. I know which rooster I want to keep, he is the only one of his kind that we have. He is a Partridge Plymouth Rock and his name is Survivor (as he was the only one of his siblings to survive the dog attack that killed the rest of them).
I might keep one of the other roosters too. Just because they are so pretty! However, all of the extras need to be eaten. I plan to wait another couple of weeks to make certain which are roosters but we will have to have a butchering day where we kill and clean the extra roosters. I want the boys to know how to do this. I have never done it before but I have been doing research the last week, mostly watching youtube videos on how to kill and clean a chicken. It does not look like fun but I think I can do it. Especially if we make it a family event and all help out. I already know Archie doesn't want to participate in the killing part and I am pretty sure Jason won't want to either, but they will probably both be OK with the cleaning and eating part.
They are all turning out so pretty. I am really pleased. I should have some eggs any day now. I am starting to wonder if they have laid some eggs but we haven't found them yet. Since the chickens free range all day and only go in the coop at night, they really could be laying anywhere. I am hoping to get them to lay in the coop though. We need to get the laying boxes put in there. I have heard that if the chickens are kept in the coop for a few hours in the morning they are more likely to lay in there all the time. We'll see. If they aren't laying yet, they should be soon! I have heard of chickens laying as early as 18 weeks and as late as 26 weeks. Our chickens range from 18-22 weeks right now.
Monday, July 28, 2014
A prayer for my Daughters-in-law
I have all boys. I imagine the chances are pretty good that at least one, if not all 3 of the sons I am raising will get married one day. I have often prayed for my future daughter/s in law though not as often as I should. My prayers for them are sometimes short and sweet, and sometimes more detailed and longer. I think it would be great if I remembered to pray for them more often, maybe I should make a note to myself on my calendar!
Whoever my sons choose as wives, I am determined to be the best mother-in-law I can be. I want to do everything I can to get along with my daughters-in-law, to encourage them, to be there for them, and to bless them. I know that the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship is notoriously challenging, but I also know, that if I rely on the Lord for His help, I could have a very special relationship with my future daughters-in-law.
Father in Heaven, thank you for my boys. Thank you for the opportunity to raise them. I ask for your help to raise them to be godly men, husbands, and fathers. I pray that you would help guide Archie and I in raising each of them to reach their fullest potential. That they would love You more than anything else. That they would be wonderful husbands and that they would each find the wife that You have chosen for them. That they would be wonderful fathers and raise up wonderful children.
Father, I pray for my future daughters-in-law. I pray that You would bless them today. I ask that if they do not know you as their Lord and Savior, that you would place people in their lives that would lead them to You. That You would make Yourself known to them in a very real way today. I ask for Your protection over them. That in this evil world we live in, that You would keep them safe from harm, from the influences of this corrupt world, from Satan's schemes. I ask that You would work in their lives, even now as children, to make them good and godly women, wives, and mothers. That each of them would be exactly the kind of wife that each of my sons need. Father, I ask that you would equip them to be wise, strong, patient, determined, godly, self-controlled, peaceable, good communicators, quick to forgive, affectionate, and loving. Equip each of them to serve You in whatever way You have planned for them.
Father, bless my future daughters-in-law today. I pray that You would wrap Your arms around them and pour out abundant blessings upon them!
Oh Heavenly Father, help Archie and I to raise our sons well. I ask that You would give us wisdom in doing so. Thank you again for the blessings You have given us!
In Jesus name I pray,
Amen.
Whoever my sons choose as wives, I am determined to be the best mother-in-law I can be. I want to do everything I can to get along with my daughters-in-law, to encourage them, to be there for them, and to bless them. I know that the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship is notoriously challenging, but I also know, that if I rely on the Lord for His help, I could have a very special relationship with my future daughters-in-law.
Father in Heaven, thank you for my boys. Thank you for the opportunity to raise them. I ask for your help to raise them to be godly men, husbands, and fathers. I pray that you would help guide Archie and I in raising each of them to reach their fullest potential. That they would love You more than anything else. That they would be wonderful husbands and that they would each find the wife that You have chosen for them. That they would be wonderful fathers and raise up wonderful children.
Father, I pray for my future daughters-in-law. I pray that You would bless them today. I ask that if they do not know you as their Lord and Savior, that you would place people in their lives that would lead them to You. That You would make Yourself known to them in a very real way today. I ask for Your protection over them. That in this evil world we live in, that You would keep them safe from harm, from the influences of this corrupt world, from Satan's schemes. I ask that You would work in their lives, even now as children, to make them good and godly women, wives, and mothers. That each of them would be exactly the kind of wife that each of my sons need. Father, I ask that you would equip them to be wise, strong, patient, determined, godly, self-controlled, peaceable, good communicators, quick to forgive, affectionate, and loving. Equip each of them to serve You in whatever way You have planned for them.
Father, bless my future daughters-in-law today. I pray that You would wrap Your arms around them and pour out abundant blessings upon them!
Oh Heavenly Father, help Archie and I to raise our sons well. I ask that You would give us wisdom in doing so. Thank you again for the blessings You have given us!
In Jesus name I pray,
Amen.
Sunday, July 13, 2014
Work!
That's what I did on my trip to California!
Jason and I flew out to California a couple of weeks ago to help my parents sort through stuff in their house to help them prepare to move to Northern California from Southern California. They have lived in that house for the past 17 years! When they moved in all 5 of us kids were still living at home, but now, none of us are.
3 of my siblings and their families also came to help with the sorting and packing. I think I was expecting to get more done, but it was pretty tiring work and with all of the kids to keep us busy in addition to the other work, not quite as much got done as I was hoping for. We made a dent though. I think we at least got the ball rolling and it will be a little easier for my parents to keep going and get rid of more stuff and get things packed. It will take a while but they don't plan to move until the fall so there is time.
I am so happy I took dust masks for us to wear while we worked. It wasn't so bad in some parts of the house but when it came to dealing with books, old school supplies, and stuffed animals it was quite dusty!
Jason really enjoyed playing with his cousins. Especially Victoria who is just 5 months older than Silas, so she is 6 1/2 now.
We did get to go to the beach a couple of times and spent a day at Disneyland with my brother and his wife, and their 1 year old son. Jason really enjoyed that a lot!
I wish I lived closer so I could keep helping.
After all that work, throwing away many things, giving away many things, selling things at the yard sale, all of that has made me want to go through my own things here at home and get rid of things. I have realized there are so many things I own that I really have no use for! So why keep them? I've already gotten rid of a few things in the last few days since I got home, and hopefully I can keep up the momentum and get rid of some more useless items over the next few weeks and months.
It is true that none of the things we own really matter. We keep things that are useful, things that are sentimental, sometimes we keep things just because we don't take the time to get rid of them, but really, we can't take anything with us when we die, and nothing we own has eternal value. So if its not useful, or particularly special to me, I'd really rather it have a new home. The tricky thing of course is the part where we place sentimental value on things. I need to work on doing less of that.
Jason and I flew out to California a couple of weeks ago to help my parents sort through stuff in their house to help them prepare to move to Northern California from Southern California. They have lived in that house for the past 17 years! When they moved in all 5 of us kids were still living at home, but now, none of us are.
3 of my siblings and their families also came to help with the sorting and packing. I think I was expecting to get more done, but it was pretty tiring work and with all of the kids to keep us busy in addition to the other work, not quite as much got done as I was hoping for. We made a dent though. I think we at least got the ball rolling and it will be a little easier for my parents to keep going and get rid of more stuff and get things packed. It will take a while but they don't plan to move until the fall so there is time.
I am so happy I took dust masks for us to wear while we worked. It wasn't so bad in some parts of the house but when it came to dealing with books, old school supplies, and stuffed animals it was quite dusty!
Jason really enjoyed playing with his cousins. Especially Victoria who is just 5 months older than Silas, so she is 6 1/2 now.
We did get to go to the beach a couple of times and spent a day at Disneyland with my brother and his wife, and their 1 year old son. Jason really enjoyed that a lot!
I wish I lived closer so I could keep helping.
After all that work, throwing away many things, giving away many things, selling things at the yard sale, all of that has made me want to go through my own things here at home and get rid of things. I have realized there are so many things I own that I really have no use for! So why keep them? I've already gotten rid of a few things in the last few days since I got home, and hopefully I can keep up the momentum and get rid of some more useless items over the next few weeks and months.
It is true that none of the things we own really matter. We keep things that are useful, things that are sentimental, sometimes we keep things just because we don't take the time to get rid of them, but really, we can't take anything with us when we die, and nothing we own has eternal value. So if its not useful, or particularly special to me, I'd really rather it have a new home. The tricky thing of course is the part where we place sentimental value on things. I need to work on doing less of that.
Friday, June 6, 2014
Cravings
I have been doing pretty well the last 3 months with my eating, not perfect, but pretty well. When I over indulge now its too many pieces of low carb, gluten free, refined sugar free, angel food cake or too many pieces of fruit instead of what I used to indulge in. Cake, cookies, pizza...
Still. I have been aiming to not "indulge" in anything. I want to eat for fuel. Not that I can't enjoy what I eat, but I don't want to eat for the sake of eating. I want to eat to fuel my body.
The past 3 weeks or so have been difficult emotionally. The date marking 1 year since Silas passed away was not so bad, but the week building up to that date was very emotional. Remembering the pain and torment of the previous year. The agony of knowing Silas was dying but not knowing when or how it would happen. The desire for him to go to Heaven and get his new body that would have no cancer in it, but the painful realization that that would mean a separation from him. We stayed home that day and just hung out around the house. We visited the cemetery that evening.
2 days ago was his birthday. It was so much harder for me than the anniversary of his passing. He was supposed to be turning 6 this year. Although it was the second birthday since he went to Heaven, it seemed like the first. Last year his birthday came just 10 days after he went to Heaven and we were still in shock. I cried a lot on his birthday this year. I miss him so much. What would he be like as a 6 year old? He was supposed to be finishing Kindergarten. Learning to read and write. Would he be taller? What size clothes would he wear now? What color would his hair be now? Would it be brown like it used to be when he was little? or would it have stayed blonde like it was coming in after the chemo?
During these weeks of heightened emotion I have been having cravings again. For the last few months I really haven't been craving "junk" food. I was actually surprised that I had come to turn my nose up when given the opportunity to indulge in something I knew was bad for me. But these past few weeks, I found myself craving those old favorite comfort foods. I was taken by surprise, but maybe I shouldn't have been.
I have not indulged in those old favorites, though I have found myself reaching for the tastier of the healthy foods I have come to enjoy, and I am afraid too much of them.
Now that I am realizing this, I also need to realize that I am not really craving food. I am craving comfort. I am craving peace. I am craving stability. I am craving Jesus. He is the only one who can truly offer me what I crave. He is the only one who can offer me true comfort during this painful time. After all, I was designed to need Him and He is everything I need.
You may have heard the phrase "we all have a God shaped hole in our heart". This is true. We are not complete without the Lord God in our lives. When He is in our lives, we experience true joy, true peace, true comfort, and true wholeness.
Still. I have been aiming to not "indulge" in anything. I want to eat for fuel. Not that I can't enjoy what I eat, but I don't want to eat for the sake of eating. I want to eat to fuel my body.
The past 3 weeks or so have been difficult emotionally. The date marking 1 year since Silas passed away was not so bad, but the week building up to that date was very emotional. Remembering the pain and torment of the previous year. The agony of knowing Silas was dying but not knowing when or how it would happen. The desire for him to go to Heaven and get his new body that would have no cancer in it, but the painful realization that that would mean a separation from him. We stayed home that day and just hung out around the house. We visited the cemetery that evening.
2 days ago was his birthday. It was so much harder for me than the anniversary of his passing. He was supposed to be turning 6 this year. Although it was the second birthday since he went to Heaven, it seemed like the first. Last year his birthday came just 10 days after he went to Heaven and we were still in shock. I cried a lot on his birthday this year. I miss him so much. What would he be like as a 6 year old? He was supposed to be finishing Kindergarten. Learning to read and write. Would he be taller? What size clothes would he wear now? What color would his hair be now? Would it be brown like it used to be when he was little? or would it have stayed blonde like it was coming in after the chemo?
During these weeks of heightened emotion I have been having cravings again. For the last few months I really haven't been craving "junk" food. I was actually surprised that I had come to turn my nose up when given the opportunity to indulge in something I knew was bad for me. But these past few weeks, I found myself craving those old favorite comfort foods. I was taken by surprise, but maybe I shouldn't have been.
I have not indulged in those old favorites, though I have found myself reaching for the tastier of the healthy foods I have come to enjoy, and I am afraid too much of them.
Now that I am realizing this, I also need to realize that I am not really craving food. I am craving comfort. I am craving peace. I am craving stability. I am craving Jesus. He is the only one who can truly offer me what I crave. He is the only one who can offer me true comfort during this painful time. After all, I was designed to need Him and He is everything I need.
You may have heard the phrase "we all have a God shaped hole in our heart". This is true. We are not complete without the Lord God in our lives. When He is in our lives, we experience true joy, true peace, true comfort, and true wholeness.
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Happy Birthday Silas!
Silas was due to be born around, well, sometime between May 17 and May 24, they never quite decided on a due date. By the time I got to June the Doctor decided it was really time for him to be born whether he wanted to come out or not. I was really ready for him to be born too! I had tried everything (within reason) to bring on labor myself, but nothing was working.
My mom and Archie came to the hospital with me for the induction while my dad stayed home with Michael, Gideon, and Jason. Then ages 7, 5, and 2. I had been contracting for weeks, but none of them were strong enough to be real labor. Which was rather funny because I actually went into preterm labor with Silas at 31 weeks! They were able to stop my labor with drugs at the hospital. That was pretty scary.
When we arrived Tuesday morning for the induction I was already a little dilated so they started me on pitocin to induce labor. I was so uncomfortable! I tossed and turned, getting up to walk or sit on the birth ball whenever they would let me. I was pretty miserable though. Hour after hour passed and my progress was very slow. I labored all through the night and early in the morning the pain started getting worse. They gave me a dose of a pain med in my IV but it didn't help much. Just when I thought I couldn't make it another minute, and told them I needed a epidural (something I have never had but always end up asking for moments before its time to push!). The nurse checked me and sure enough, it was just about time to start pushing.
I was totally exhausted. I almost felt too tired to push. It only took about 5 minutes to push him out though. I had to stop once his head was out because the cord was wrapped too tightly around his neck for the rest of him to come out, the Doctor cut it off of his neck and then the rest of him slid out. I collapsed back onto the bed completely worn out!
Besides being a 23 1/2 hour labor, it had been a long pregnancy, full of morning sickness too! Although it was not really morning sickness, it was more like 24/7 sickness. I hardly got out of bed the first 5 months of my pregnancy as it usually made me throw up to do anything.
Anyway, as I lay there after giving birth I had to talk myself into lifting my head off the pillow to look at the beautiful child I had just pushed out. I lifted my head and smiled at him and then collapsed back onto my pillow. They dried him off and weighed him and then brought him to me. 9 lbs. 6 oz. and 19 inches long. My shortest , but second lightest baby.
Silas Nathanael Edenfield. Born June 4, 2008 at 9:27 AM.
Archie and my mom were almost as tired as I was. Later that day the older boys came to visit us in the hospital. They all got to hold him, and he seemed as interested in them as they were in him! We had 4 boys!
So there you have it, Silas' birth story :)
I only spent 4 birthdays with him, and I cherish every one of them. I don't know if birthdays are celebrated in Heaven or not, but I am sure if they are, he's had a couple of great ones up there these last two!
My mom and Archie came to the hospital with me for the induction while my dad stayed home with Michael, Gideon, and Jason. Then ages 7, 5, and 2. I had been contracting for weeks, but none of them were strong enough to be real labor. Which was rather funny because I actually went into preterm labor with Silas at 31 weeks! They were able to stop my labor with drugs at the hospital. That was pretty scary.
When we arrived Tuesday morning for the induction I was already a little dilated so they started me on pitocin to induce labor. I was so uncomfortable! I tossed and turned, getting up to walk or sit on the birth ball whenever they would let me. I was pretty miserable though. Hour after hour passed and my progress was very slow. I labored all through the night and early in the morning the pain started getting worse. They gave me a dose of a pain med in my IV but it didn't help much. Just when I thought I couldn't make it another minute, and told them I needed a epidural (something I have never had but always end up asking for moments before its time to push!). The nurse checked me and sure enough, it was just about time to start pushing.
I was totally exhausted. I almost felt too tired to push. It only took about 5 minutes to push him out though. I had to stop once his head was out because the cord was wrapped too tightly around his neck for the rest of him to come out, the Doctor cut it off of his neck and then the rest of him slid out. I collapsed back onto the bed completely worn out!
Besides being a 23 1/2 hour labor, it had been a long pregnancy, full of morning sickness too! Although it was not really morning sickness, it was more like 24/7 sickness. I hardly got out of bed the first 5 months of my pregnancy as it usually made me throw up to do anything.
Anyway, as I lay there after giving birth I had to talk myself into lifting my head off the pillow to look at the beautiful child I had just pushed out. I lifted my head and smiled at him and then collapsed back onto my pillow. They dried him off and weighed him and then brought him to me. 9 lbs. 6 oz. and 19 inches long. My shortest , but second lightest baby.
Silas Nathanael Edenfield. Born June 4, 2008 at 9:27 AM.
Archie and my mom were almost as tired as I was. Later that day the older boys came to visit us in the hospital. They all got to hold him, and he seemed as interested in them as they were in him! We had 4 boys!
So there you have it, Silas' birth story :)
I only spent 4 birthdays with him, and I cherish every one of them. I don't know if birthdays are celebrated in Heaven or not, but I am sure if they are, he's had a couple of great ones up there these last two!
Friday, May 23, 2014
Gluten, emotional eating, and receiving comfort from the Lord
It has been about a month since I started my gluten free diet. I have still occasionally eaten grains but they are few and far between. No gluten though. I think I've been pretty good about keeping down the cross contamination too. I have not noticed any difference in how I feel. I don't think that means anything necessarily but I think I was expecting to notice something. I have had about the same number of "crampy" days as usual, 2-3 a month. I have been strict too, no gluten at all. I read somewhere that if you are gluten sensitive that any amount of gluten is harmful, there is no such thing as a "low gluten" diet. I also read that for women with endometriosis who want to try gluten free to see if it helps relieve cramping, they should go gluten free for 2 months, then eat a piece of bread. If it makes them sick, then they are gluten sensitive and should continue on the gluten free diet. If it does not affect them at all, then they are probably not gluten sensitive and a gluten free diet is not likely to help their endo symptoms. Hmm. Maybe I will go another month and try the piece of bread and see how I react. I am curious.
During this last week or two, leading up to the 1 year anniversary of Silas' going home to Heaven, I have been more emotional than usual. There have been a few days that I could hardly get myself to do anything. Some days taking a walk is the only thing I get done. I have walked though. I have eaten healthy foods, but I have noticed that I am eating more than I need to. Even though the foods are healthy, doesn't mean I can stuff myself silly with them. I need to work on that. I need to be turning more to the Lord and not food, not even healthy food, for comfort.
The Lord is giving me comfort, He is strengthening me. I can feel His presence right now. I need to accept, lean into, and receive His comfort. I cannot get that kind of comfort anywhere else.
If you will, pray for us over the next few days. We miss Silas.
During this last week or two, leading up to the 1 year anniversary of Silas' going home to Heaven, I have been more emotional than usual. There have been a few days that I could hardly get myself to do anything. Some days taking a walk is the only thing I get done. I have walked though. I have eaten healthy foods, but I have noticed that I am eating more than I need to. Even though the foods are healthy, doesn't mean I can stuff myself silly with them. I need to work on that. I need to be turning more to the Lord and not food, not even healthy food, for comfort.
The Lord is giving me comfort, He is strengthening me. I can feel His presence right now. I need to accept, lean into, and receive His comfort. I cannot get that kind of comfort anywhere else.
If you will, pray for us over the next few days. We miss Silas.
Thursday, May 22, 2014
1 Chronicles 16
I have been reading the stories of David in my Bible readings over the past few weeks and what God said of David really has struck me...that David was a man after God's own heart. What exactly does that mean? David made a lot of mistakes, with Bathsheba, with his sons, surely many more things too, but what is it about him that made him a man after God's own heart?
Perhaps it was that he always turned back to the Lord after his failures? Perhaps it was his heart of worship that is so evident in the Psalms that he wrote? Whatever it was, I want to be a woman after God's own heart. I want to always turn back to Him when I fall, I want to always seek His will in my life, I want to have a heart of worship, and to bring honor and glory to His name with everything in my life.
When the Ark of God was put in the Tabernacle that David had built for it there was celebration and David blessed the people and gave them gifts of food. It was good for the Ark of God to be in that place and he rejoiced. The Psalm he wrote for this occasion really touched my heart today.
"Make known His deeds among the peoples", I should be telling everyone the wonderful things the Lord has done in my life. His wonderful works! He has done so many good things for me, for my family.
"Proclaim the good news of His salvation". What good news indeed! He has saved me from death and destruction, He has saved me for His glory and for an eternal home in Heaven with Him.
"For the Lord is great, and greatly to be praised, He is also to be feared above all gods". There is no God but Him. There is nothing that can compare with Him, there is nothing more important than a relationship with Him.
All creation praises Him and declares His majesty. May I praise Him and declare His majesty all of my days! He is worth to be praised! I will give Him the glory due His name. As long as I live, His praise will be on my lips, and since He has saved me, I will live eternally with Him, so His praise will be on my lips for all eternity!
Perhaps it was that he always turned back to the Lord after his failures? Perhaps it was his heart of worship that is so evident in the Psalms that he wrote? Whatever it was, I want to be a woman after God's own heart. I want to always turn back to Him when I fall, I want to always seek His will in my life, I want to have a heart of worship, and to bring honor and glory to His name with everything in my life.
When the Ark of God was put in the Tabernacle that David had built for it there was celebration and David blessed the people and gave them gifts of food. It was good for the Ark of God to be in that place and he rejoiced. The Psalm he wrote for this occasion really touched my heart today.
Oh, give thanks to the Lord!
Call upon His name;
Make known His deeds among the peoples!
9 Sing to Him, sing psalms to Him;
Talk of all His wondrous works!
10 Glory in His holy name;
Let the hearts of those rejoice who seek the Lord!
11 Seek the Lord and His strength;
Seek His face evermore!
12 Remember His marvelous works which He has done,
His wonders, and the judgments of His mouth,
13 O seed of Israel His servant,
You children of Jacob, His chosen ones!
Call upon His name;
Make known His deeds among the peoples!
9 Sing to Him, sing psalms to Him;
Talk of all His wondrous works!
10 Glory in His holy name;
Let the hearts of those rejoice who seek the Lord!
11 Seek the Lord and His strength;
Seek His face evermore!
12 Remember His marvelous works which He has done,
His wonders, and the judgments of His mouth,
13 O seed of Israel His servant,
You children of Jacob, His chosen ones!
14 He is the Lord our God;
His judgments are in all the earth.
15 Remember His covenant forever,
The word which He commanded, for a thousand generations,
16 The covenant which He made with Abraham,
And His oath to Isaac,
17 And confirmed it to Jacob for a statute,
To Israel for an everlasting covenant,
18 Saying, “To you I will give the land of Canaan
As the allotment of your inheritance,”
19 When you were few in number,
Indeed very few, and strangers in it.
His judgments are in all the earth.
15 Remember His covenant forever,
The word which He commanded, for a thousand generations,
16 The covenant which He made with Abraham,
And His oath to Isaac,
17 And confirmed it to Jacob for a statute,
To Israel for an everlasting covenant,
18 Saying, “To you I will give the land of Canaan
As the allotment of your inheritance,”
19 When you were few in number,
Indeed very few, and strangers in it.
20 When they went from one nation to another,
And from one kingdom to another people,
21 He permitted no man to do them wrong;
Yes, He rebuked kings for their sakes,
22 Saying, “Do not touch My anointed ones,
And do My prophets no harm.”[a]
And from one kingdom to another people,
21 He permitted no man to do them wrong;
Yes, He rebuked kings for their sakes,
22 Saying, “Do not touch My anointed ones,
And do My prophets no harm.”[a]
23 Sing to the Lord, all the earth;
Proclaim the good news of His salvation from day to day.
24 Declare His glory among the nations,
His wonders among all peoples.
Proclaim the good news of His salvation from day to day.
24 Declare His glory among the nations,
His wonders among all peoples.
25 For the Lord is great and greatly to be praised;
He is also to be feared above all gods.
26 For all the gods of the peoples are idols,
But the Lord made the heavens.
27 Honor and majesty are before Him;
Strength and gladness are in His place.
He is also to be feared above all gods.
26 For all the gods of the peoples are idols,
But the Lord made the heavens.
27 Honor and majesty are before Him;
Strength and gladness are in His place.
28 Give to the Lord, O families of the peoples,
Give to the Lord glory and strength.
29 Give to the Lord the glory due His name;
Bring an offering, and come before Him.
Oh, worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness!
30 Tremble before Him, all the earth.
The world also is firmly established,
It shall not be moved.
Give to the Lord glory and strength.
29 Give to the Lord the glory due His name;
Bring an offering, and come before Him.
Oh, worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness!
30 Tremble before Him, all the earth.
The world also is firmly established,
It shall not be moved.
31 Let the heavens rejoice, and let the earth be glad;
And let them say among the nations, “The Lord reigns.”
32 Let the sea roar, and all its fullness;
Let the field rejoice, and all that is in it.
33 Then the trees of the woods shall rejoice before the Lord,
For He is coming to judge the earth.[b]
And let them say among the nations, “The Lord reigns.”
32 Let the sea roar, and all its fullness;
Let the field rejoice, and all that is in it.
33 Then the trees of the woods shall rejoice before the Lord,
For He is coming to judge the earth.[b]
34 Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good!
For His mercy endures forever.[c]
35 And say, “Save us, O God of our salvation;
Gather us together, and deliver us from the Gentiles,
To give thanks to Your holy name,
To triumph in Your praise.”
For His mercy endures forever.[c]
35 And say, “Save us, O God of our salvation;
Gather us together, and deliver us from the Gentiles,
To give thanks to Your holy name,
To triumph in Your praise.”
36 Blessed be the Lord God of Israel
From everlasting to everlasting![d]
From everlasting to everlasting![d]
And all the people said, “Amen!” and praised the Lord.
"Make known His deeds among the peoples", I should be telling everyone the wonderful things the Lord has done in my life. His wonderful works! He has done so many good things for me, for my family.
"Proclaim the good news of His salvation". What good news indeed! He has saved me from death and destruction, He has saved me for His glory and for an eternal home in Heaven with Him.
"For the Lord is great, and greatly to be praised, He is also to be feared above all gods". There is no God but Him. There is nothing that can compare with Him, there is nothing more important than a relationship with Him.
All creation praises Him and declares His majesty. May I praise Him and declare His majesty all of my days! He is worth to be praised! I will give Him the glory due His name. As long as I live, His praise will be on my lips, and since He has saved me, I will live eternally with Him, so His praise will be on my lips for all eternity!
Friday, May 16, 2014
Love your brother!
Little brothers have a habit of annoying big brothers from time to time (and sometimes all the time), this has certainly been the case in our home! Jason seems to take great pleasure in annoying his brothers at times. Sometimes he does not like the results though.
The other day Gideon was really struggling with wanting to "whack" Jason as he put it, because he was "driving him crazy". So I said to Gideon, how about this, every time Jason annoys you, give him a big bear hug and say "I love you". He thought this was a great idea. Yesterday he started implementing it!
All day long I heard Gideon's voice "I love you Jason", over and over again. Jason seemed rather perplexed by all of this love. Later I overheard Gideon saying to Michael "you really should try this! It really works!". I was so proud of Gideon :)
I am not sure Gideon realizes yet that it is his own heart that is changing towards his brother, not necessarily his brother's behavior, although I think that will change too. A little positive attention from his big brother will encourage Jason a lot I think.
I have always told the boys, you could potentially be each others best friends for life. I have also told them that if they can learn to get along with each other, then they can learn to get along with anyone. Dealing with their brothers is preparing them for dealing with everyone else out there in the world. What a blessing to have brothers :)
The other day Gideon was really struggling with wanting to "whack" Jason as he put it, because he was "driving him crazy". So I said to Gideon, how about this, every time Jason annoys you, give him a big bear hug and say "I love you". He thought this was a great idea. Yesterday he started implementing it!
All day long I heard Gideon's voice "I love you Jason", over and over again. Jason seemed rather perplexed by all of this love. Later I overheard Gideon saying to Michael "you really should try this! It really works!". I was so proud of Gideon :)
I am not sure Gideon realizes yet that it is his own heart that is changing towards his brother, not necessarily his brother's behavior, although I think that will change too. A little positive attention from his big brother will encourage Jason a lot I think.
I have always told the boys, you could potentially be each others best friends for life. I have also told them that if they can learn to get along with each other, then they can learn to get along with anyone. Dealing with their brothers is preparing them for dealing with everyone else out there in the world. What a blessing to have brothers :)
Monday, April 28, 2014
Made a decision
I have known about the gluten free diet for a long time. Many people are sensitive to gluten, including in my own extended family. From what I understand sensitivity to gluten ranges from mild with no obvious symptoms to serious, as in the case of celiacs disease.
In my case, I have no obvious symptoms, I do likely have endometriosis. I say likely, because I have not had surgery to confirm it. I have the classic symptoms and have been told by 3 or 4 different doctors that it sounds like I likely have it, but it would take surgery to confirm it since you cannot see it on scans and there is no blood test for it.
Anyway, in my efforts to eat healthier and be healthier, I started wondering if there was something that could help with the endometriosis (for those who don't know, it can cause debilitating pain, something I have experienced off and on throughout my teenage and adult life). I found an article about a study showing that 75% of women who suffered severe pain from endo noticed a decrease in pain after eating a gluten free diet for a year. 75%!! That sounds like its worth a try to me! If you know how awful endo pain is, you understand how exciting this is!
So I started reading about eating gluten free, and have decided, based on my research, to cut out grains as well as gluten. I have not had any gluten (that I am aware of) since Thursday. I have not cut out grains entirely yet but I have cut back and plan to wean myself off of them as I develop a healthier diet for myself.
Our family has always been somewhere in the middle as far as healthy eating goes. Some people eat a perfectly balanced, all organic, locally grown, free range, non-processed, fresh diet. Some people eat processed cheese food product, soda, drive through, processed, preserved, food colored diet. We land in the middle (Archie says closer to the first than the latter).
The boys have noticed the change in my eating, it definitely affects them. I eat differently, so I prepare meals differently, and what I buy at the store is different! I am not bringing home "junk" like I have in the past. Michael complained to someone at church the other day "I can't even remember the last time I had soda!" I have to say, he meant it as a bad thing but I was so happy that it had been so long he couldn't remember! And yes, we did talk about the fact that he would be much better off if he never had soda again.
Although the boys are reluctant to give up some of their favorite "less than healthy" menu items, I think that overall they are eating healthier now that I am. And Archie too :)
I have to keep reminding myself why I really want to eat healthy. It is not to lose weight, or to avoid disease, it is not to have more energy, or to live longer. The reason I want to eat healthy, is that it is part of glorifying God with my body. He gave me this wonderful body to use for His purposes. It is a Temple of the Holy Spirit. I want my body to be fit for His use! Not that other reasons are bad, but to glorify God is the only reason that really matters.
In my case, I have no obvious symptoms, I do likely have endometriosis. I say likely, because I have not had surgery to confirm it. I have the classic symptoms and have been told by 3 or 4 different doctors that it sounds like I likely have it, but it would take surgery to confirm it since you cannot see it on scans and there is no blood test for it.
Anyway, in my efforts to eat healthier and be healthier, I started wondering if there was something that could help with the endometriosis (for those who don't know, it can cause debilitating pain, something I have experienced off and on throughout my teenage and adult life). I found an article about a study showing that 75% of women who suffered severe pain from endo noticed a decrease in pain after eating a gluten free diet for a year. 75%!! That sounds like its worth a try to me! If you know how awful endo pain is, you understand how exciting this is!
So I started reading about eating gluten free, and have decided, based on my research, to cut out grains as well as gluten. I have not had any gluten (that I am aware of) since Thursday. I have not cut out grains entirely yet but I have cut back and plan to wean myself off of them as I develop a healthier diet for myself.
Our family has always been somewhere in the middle as far as healthy eating goes. Some people eat a perfectly balanced, all organic, locally grown, free range, non-processed, fresh diet. Some people eat processed cheese food product, soda, drive through, processed, preserved, food colored diet. We land in the middle (Archie says closer to the first than the latter).
The boys have noticed the change in my eating, it definitely affects them. I eat differently, so I prepare meals differently, and what I buy at the store is different! I am not bringing home "junk" like I have in the past. Michael complained to someone at church the other day "I can't even remember the last time I had soda!" I have to say, he meant it as a bad thing but I was so happy that it had been so long he couldn't remember! And yes, we did talk about the fact that he would be much better off if he never had soda again.
Although the boys are reluctant to give up some of their favorite "less than healthy" menu items, I think that overall they are eating healthier now that I am. And Archie too :)
I have to keep reminding myself why I really want to eat healthy. It is not to lose weight, or to avoid disease, it is not to have more energy, or to live longer. The reason I want to eat healthy, is that it is part of glorifying God with my body. He gave me this wonderful body to use for His purposes. It is a Temple of the Holy Spirit. I want my body to be fit for His use! Not that other reasons are bad, but to glorify God is the only reason that really matters.
Friday, April 18, 2014
Looking for a healthy alternative
Every year that Archie and I have been married (except last year), I have made a cake to celebrate our "family birthday" on our anniversary. I am really making an effort to eat healthier now though and I don't want a cake that is full of sugar. I am also avoiding dairy since it doesn't like me.
So, what to make to celebrate. I found a coconut flour pound cake that is sweetened with honey instead of sugar. That looks like it might be a good option for a treat. The recipe makes a smallish cake too, so probably not much in the way of leftovers after its split between the 5 of us. I could smash up some strawberries to go on top too, but what about whipped cream? None for me. I could just do regular whipped cream and not have any myself. I have tried whipping coconut cream before but not had good luck with it. I could give that another try though.
I also thought about making meringues. Light and crunchy and almost like eating nothing, but they taste good.
I haven't talked a lot about my efforts to eat healthy and lose weight lately, but I've lost almost 10 lbs (not quite) since the beginning of March. I am happy with this, but I still have a long way to go. I really think I can get there. I have a whole new approach this time than I've ever had before. This time around I am not focusing as much on what I eat (though I do my best to make healthy choices and choose organic whenever possible), this time I am focusing more on building my relationship with my Lord, and turning to Him for comfort instead of food. Turning to Him for everything! Food fuels my body, it doesn't comfort me, or listen to my problems. Food doesn't love me. Not that its wrong to enjoy what I eat, and celebrate special occasions with yummy food, but food should never be what I live for or what consumes my thoughts.
So I am not counting calories (OK, well I do once in a while, but only for a day at a time to see if I am on track). I don't have strict lists of good and bad foods. As far as how I eat, I aim for plenty fruits and vegetables, I still eat meat but not every day, no obvious dairy (since it doesn't like me), whole grains, less sugar (I haven't eliminated it entirely but I generally avoid it), plenty of water, and I avoid anything prepackaged or processed. I also try to eat smaller portions and not over eat. I read once that "normal" people stop eating when they get to a 6 or 7 on the "fullness" scale. In the past I have often eaten to an 10 or 11 on that scale every time I ate. I'm trying to stop at that 6 or 7 mark (because usually 20 minutes or so after I stop eating I feel completely satisfied).
I'm not legalistic about it all but I am doing my best to make healthy choices. With so much information out there about what to eat and what not to eat I think its impossible for anyone to know exactly what I should eat! But I'm doing my best and more importantly, I am doing my best to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit. He knows what I should eat and when, and how much! I don't always listen to Him perfectly, but I am listening more.
The thing is, God doesn't want me to struggle with my weight, obesity, or food addiction. He has a better plan for me, and now, I'm seeking that.
So, what to make to celebrate. I found a coconut flour pound cake that is sweetened with honey instead of sugar. That looks like it might be a good option for a treat. The recipe makes a smallish cake too, so probably not much in the way of leftovers after its split between the 5 of us. I could smash up some strawberries to go on top too, but what about whipped cream? None for me. I could just do regular whipped cream and not have any myself. I have tried whipping coconut cream before but not had good luck with it. I could give that another try though.
I also thought about making meringues. Light and crunchy and almost like eating nothing, but they taste good.
I haven't talked a lot about my efforts to eat healthy and lose weight lately, but I've lost almost 10 lbs (not quite) since the beginning of March. I am happy with this, but I still have a long way to go. I really think I can get there. I have a whole new approach this time than I've ever had before. This time around I am not focusing as much on what I eat (though I do my best to make healthy choices and choose organic whenever possible), this time I am focusing more on building my relationship with my Lord, and turning to Him for comfort instead of food. Turning to Him for everything! Food fuels my body, it doesn't comfort me, or listen to my problems. Food doesn't love me. Not that its wrong to enjoy what I eat, and celebrate special occasions with yummy food, but food should never be what I live for or what consumes my thoughts.
So I am not counting calories (OK, well I do once in a while, but only for a day at a time to see if I am on track). I don't have strict lists of good and bad foods. As far as how I eat, I aim for plenty fruits and vegetables, I still eat meat but not every day, no obvious dairy (since it doesn't like me), whole grains, less sugar (I haven't eliminated it entirely but I generally avoid it), plenty of water, and I avoid anything prepackaged or processed. I also try to eat smaller portions and not over eat. I read once that "normal" people stop eating when they get to a 6 or 7 on the "fullness" scale. In the past I have often eaten to an 10 or 11 on that scale every time I ate. I'm trying to stop at that 6 or 7 mark (because usually 20 minutes or so after I stop eating I feel completely satisfied).
I'm not legalistic about it all but I am doing my best to make healthy choices. With so much information out there about what to eat and what not to eat I think its impossible for anyone to know exactly what I should eat! But I'm doing my best and more importantly, I am doing my best to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit. He knows what I should eat and when, and how much! I don't always listen to Him perfectly, but I am listening more.
The thing is, God doesn't want me to struggle with my weight, obesity, or food addiction. He has a better plan for me, and now, I'm seeking that.
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Chickens
About a month ago we got our first batch of chickens. I put them in the garden tub in my bathroom with a heat lamp to keep them warm. We had 6 Rhode Island Reds (RIR) and 6 Partridge Plymouth Rocks (PPR). We think the RIR's were close to a week old but the PPR's were only a couple of days old. For two weeks they were in our bathroom. We cleaned the tub out daily or every other day. I loved the chirping sounds! I actually miss that now that they are not in the house anymore.
We also had a "Sizzle" added to our flock, which is a curly feathered chick that is a cross between a silkie and a frizzle. We called it the ugly duckling.
About 2 weeks ago we moved them outside to the "coop". Which is a 10' x 10' dog pen that we put a roof on and put tarp around the sides of. We got a big box to put them in and moved the heat lamp with them. After a week we decided to let them out of the box and just let them roam the coop, but that didn't work out so well. The first night that we left them out of the box (or rather we turned the box on its side), the dogs decided to dig a hole under the coop and steal 10 of our 13 chickens and kill them! Archie saw what happened when he got up for work in the morning and buried them before anyone else had to see what happened. We were all so sad. The only 3 chicks that were left were 2 RIR and 1 PPR.
The funny thing about the PPR that survived, is that it was the runtiest chick in the whole flock! The smallest and least feathers.
We dug a trench on one side of the chicken coop and buried chicken wire so that the dogs couldn't dig under the coop again. I want to do the other sides too, but for now we just did the side that they originally dug under. We also put up "hot wire" around the coop. It has shocked all 3 dogs and none of them will go near the coop now! Which is exactly the point. Even when the chicks are roaming the coop and sticking their heads out through the gate, the dogs won't go near! Ultimately I would like to put up a fence around the chicken coop so that the chickens can roam around outside during the day without fear of dogs. That can wait for a few months until they are full grown though I think.
We were gifted with a black Silkie and that brought us up to 4 chicks. The Silkie seems like it might be a little older than the other 3 and pecks at them a lot when they are in the box. It doesn't bother them so much when they are roaming the pen though.
On Tuesday Archie brought home 12 Buff Orpingtons. They are adorable! They were a day old and so tiny! They are yellow now and will become a golden color when they grow up. They are much more calm than the other chicks. You can hold them and they just sit there calmly in your hand. The others can't wait to get away when you pick them up! The Orpingtons are supposed to be very friendly birds. I absolutely love the color, gold. Gold for Silas, gold for childhood cancer awareness, and gold for Heaven, our eternal home!
We also had a "Sizzle" added to our flock, which is a curly feathered chick that is a cross between a silkie and a frizzle. We called it the ugly duckling.
About 2 weeks ago we moved them outside to the "coop". Which is a 10' x 10' dog pen that we put a roof on and put tarp around the sides of. We got a big box to put them in and moved the heat lamp with them. After a week we decided to let them out of the box and just let them roam the coop, but that didn't work out so well. The first night that we left them out of the box (or rather we turned the box on its side), the dogs decided to dig a hole under the coop and steal 10 of our 13 chickens and kill them! Archie saw what happened when he got up for work in the morning and buried them before anyone else had to see what happened. We were all so sad. The only 3 chicks that were left were 2 RIR and 1 PPR.
The funny thing about the PPR that survived, is that it was the runtiest chick in the whole flock! The smallest and least feathers.
We dug a trench on one side of the chicken coop and buried chicken wire so that the dogs couldn't dig under the coop again. I want to do the other sides too, but for now we just did the side that they originally dug under. We also put up "hot wire" around the coop. It has shocked all 3 dogs and none of them will go near the coop now! Which is exactly the point. Even when the chicks are roaming the coop and sticking their heads out through the gate, the dogs won't go near! Ultimately I would like to put up a fence around the chicken coop so that the chickens can roam around outside during the day without fear of dogs. That can wait for a few months until they are full grown though I think.
We were gifted with a black Silkie and that brought us up to 4 chicks. The Silkie seems like it might be a little older than the other 3 and pecks at them a lot when they are in the box. It doesn't bother them so much when they are roaming the pen though.
On Tuesday Archie brought home 12 Buff Orpingtons. They are adorable! They were a day old and so tiny! They are yellow now and will become a golden color when they grow up. They are much more calm than the other chicks. You can hold them and they just sit there calmly in your hand. The others can't wait to get away when you pick them up! The Orpingtons are supposed to be very friendly birds. I absolutely love the color, gold. Gold for Silas, gold for childhood cancer awareness, and gold for Heaven, our eternal home!
Sunday, March 23, 2014
New hobby
Since having children I have not put a whole lot of time into hobbies. I used to paint before I had kids, I'd like to get back to that one of these days. Now that the children I have with me are older (Jason is 8 1/2), it is a little easier to work on little projects.
I made some jewelry last year, bracelets and rings, I sold them all to raise money for St. Baldrick's at a fundraiser we went to! I had made most of them in July and August last year, not really knowing what I would do with them, but it worked out great and I raised quite a bit for St. Baldrick's.
In January I wondered in to Michael's (the craft store) and saw some gold sashay yarn. I had seen the ruffled scarves and had thought I would like one in gold. The instructions on the package were for knitting a scarf so I bought knitting needles as well. I went home and looked up a few videos on Youtube on how to make these sashay scarves and then got to it! They said it was supposed to take 3-4 hours, well, it took me more like 8, but after a couple of days of working on it, it was finished.
I have had so many compliments on it and even someone who offered consignment if I would make some for her store! I made about half a dozen for her I think. It is kind of the wrong time of year for scarves though, but maybe they will sell in the fall. I also made a few scarves for friends and family. I made a camouflage scarf for Jason!
Then I wanted to try knitting something else. I had heard that people who used knit dishcloths were so happy with them that they never used anything else! I was intrigued by this and thought I'd give it a shot. I looked up some free patterns online but was not having much luck, even though a lot of them said "beginner", they were more complicated than I could figure out. I finally watched a video showing how to make a basic dishcloth. I ended up making a bunch of those for consignment as well! We'll see how they sell. I have made a bunch for myself as well. I really like using them a lot, I have replaced all of my sponges with these. I don't use them much myself however, since my 13 year old does most of the dishes these days and my 8 and 11 year olds do most of the wiping off of the table. I also use them for coasters.
I made some jewelry last year, bracelets and rings, I sold them all to raise money for St. Baldrick's at a fundraiser we went to! I had made most of them in July and August last year, not really knowing what I would do with them, but it worked out great and I raised quite a bit for St. Baldrick's.
In January I wondered in to Michael's (the craft store) and saw some gold sashay yarn. I had seen the ruffled scarves and had thought I would like one in gold. The instructions on the package were for knitting a scarf so I bought knitting needles as well. I went home and looked up a few videos on Youtube on how to make these sashay scarves and then got to it! They said it was supposed to take 3-4 hours, well, it took me more like 8, but after a couple of days of working on it, it was finished.
Then I wanted to try knitting something else. I had heard that people who used knit dishcloths were so happy with them that they never used anything else! I was intrigued by this and thought I'd give it a shot. I looked up some free patterns online but was not having much luck, even though a lot of them said "beginner", they were more complicated than I could figure out. I finally watched a video showing how to make a basic dishcloth. I ended up making a bunch of those for consignment as well! We'll see how they sell. I have made a bunch for myself as well. I really like using them a lot, I have replaced all of my sponges with these. I don't use them much myself however, since my 13 year old does most of the dishes these days and my 8 and 11 year olds do most of the wiping off of the table. I also use them for coasters.
Now that I am learning more, different stitches and patterns, even making up some of my own patterns, I want to try making something a little bigger. I am working on a little purse for one of my nieces and I am thinking I might as well make purses for all 4 of my nieces. I'll have to figure out something for my nephews as well but I am not sure what, they are all a year and under. I saw some knit sea turtle patterns that are really cute but I am not quite there yet in my knitting skills. I am sure I'll think of something. I would really like to try knitting a baby blanket as well, I can already picture it in my head.
At some point I will have to get some more yarn, but I do have a collection that has been accumulated over the last few years for various projects. I often find myself walking through the yarn section of Wal-mart when I make my weekly shopping trip there, and I often find myself picking up a ball of the $1.47 yarn.
I think one of the reasons I am enjoying this so much, is that it keeps my hands busy, and when its done, it stays done! Unlike dishes, laundry, and pretty much all other house work. Christmas is coming up in just 9 months, perhaps I can figure out some knitting projects that can be gifts and get started on those now :)
Monday, February 10, 2014
Happy Birthday Gideon!
11 years ago today I had the flu. Yuck. At least I think that's the last time I can remember having the flu! Hopefully it won't catch up with me again anytime soon.
I woke up about 4 AM and my back was really hurting. I couldn't sleep. I was 39 1/2 weeks pregnant with my second child. I had asked them not to tell me the gender but when I watched the ultrasound I was pretty sure I was seeing boy parts.
Anyway, I took a hot shower hoping it would make my back feel better. I realized I was having contractions as well. After I got out of the shower I started timing them, they were coming every 4-5 minutes. I was a little nervous because we were 45 minutes away from the hospital where I was supposed to deliver. My first labor had been 13 hours but I had always heard second babies came faster. I called the nurse and she told me to eat a light breakfast, try to relax, and keep timing the contractions. She said if they got closer together to head to the hospital. By 7:30 they were about every 3 minutes. I was so afraid it was a false alarm, I had a lot of those with my first baby. I felt sick and hungry. I told Archie that if it was a false alarm I wanted to go out for pancakes before heading home. My sister was staying with Michael, and it was Archie's day off, a Monday.
We arrived at the hospital about 8:30 AM. I was already tired and my back was still hurting. I got checked in and sure enough, I was in labor! My contractions were regular and strong and I was 3 cm dilated. I was a little disappointed, I was hungry and they wouldn't let me eat. I did manage to sneak in an apple but it didn't fill me up.
Hours and hours later, about 5 PM I was only at 5 cm and was feverish. Gideon's heart rate did not seem to be handling the contractions as well anymore, they told me that he and I were exhausted. My Doctor wasn't on duty, but the doctor who was came in to see me. She walked in and said "Well, lets give you some pitocin and if you haven't progressed in the next couple of hours we'll prep you for a c-section". Whoa!! What an introduction! I was NOT happy. I did not want a c-section or pitocin. I was so exhausted though (remember I had the flu and a fever), I let them give me pitocin. Things progressed quickly from there and just before 9 PM it was time to push. I only pushed for about 3 minutes and at 8:54 PM Gideon Elisha Edenfield was born. Weighing in at 9 lbs 12 oz. and 21 inches long! Even though he was smaller than Michael had been at birth (11 lbs 4 oz.) Gideon had a bigger look about him.
As soon as we were both cleaned up and resting comfortably I begged Archie for food! I hadn't eaten all day! Giving birth is hard work and giving birth while having the flu is REALLY hard work! I was starving. There wasn't much open that time of night but Archie found a grocery store that was open late and bought me a sub sandwich, which I devoured.
They kept us in the hospital for a few days since I was so sick and to make sure my fever was just the flu and not a brewing infection, we went home on Thursday evening.
Monday, a week after he was born, we went for a check up and they discovered that his belly button was infected...so back to the hospital we went. He had IV antibiotics for 48 hours and then we were finally home again. I cried when they told me he had infection, not only was I worried about him, but I was still sick, and sore from a small tear I got while giving birth. Being in the hospital on a roll-away bed was so uncomfortable. I was so glad he was OK though!
One quick funny story from when Gideon was a baby. I was sitting at the desk with my back turned to Gideon who was on the floor on a blanket. He was about 3 or 4 months old. I heard a funny grunting noise, it was almost a happy grunting noise but it didn't sound normal. I turned around and there was Michael, sitting right on top of Gideon and Gideon smiling and grunting with his big brother sitting on him! (Michael was about 2 1/2 at this point).
I love you Gideon!
I woke up about 4 AM and my back was really hurting. I couldn't sleep. I was 39 1/2 weeks pregnant with my second child. I had asked them not to tell me the gender but when I watched the ultrasound I was pretty sure I was seeing boy parts.
Anyway, I took a hot shower hoping it would make my back feel better. I realized I was having contractions as well. After I got out of the shower I started timing them, they were coming every 4-5 minutes. I was a little nervous because we were 45 minutes away from the hospital where I was supposed to deliver. My first labor had been 13 hours but I had always heard second babies came faster. I called the nurse and she told me to eat a light breakfast, try to relax, and keep timing the contractions. She said if they got closer together to head to the hospital. By 7:30 they were about every 3 minutes. I was so afraid it was a false alarm, I had a lot of those with my first baby. I felt sick and hungry. I told Archie that if it was a false alarm I wanted to go out for pancakes before heading home. My sister was staying with Michael, and it was Archie's day off, a Monday.
We arrived at the hospital about 8:30 AM. I was already tired and my back was still hurting. I got checked in and sure enough, I was in labor! My contractions were regular and strong and I was 3 cm dilated. I was a little disappointed, I was hungry and they wouldn't let me eat. I did manage to sneak in an apple but it didn't fill me up.
Hours and hours later, about 5 PM I was only at 5 cm and was feverish. Gideon's heart rate did not seem to be handling the contractions as well anymore, they told me that he and I were exhausted. My Doctor wasn't on duty, but the doctor who was came in to see me. She walked in and said "Well, lets give you some pitocin and if you haven't progressed in the next couple of hours we'll prep you for a c-section". Whoa!! What an introduction! I was NOT happy. I did not want a c-section or pitocin. I was so exhausted though (remember I had the flu and a fever), I let them give me pitocin. Things progressed quickly from there and just before 9 PM it was time to push. I only pushed for about 3 minutes and at 8:54 PM Gideon Elisha Edenfield was born. Weighing in at 9 lbs 12 oz. and 21 inches long! Even though he was smaller than Michael had been at birth (11 lbs 4 oz.) Gideon had a bigger look about him.
As soon as we were both cleaned up and resting comfortably I begged Archie for food! I hadn't eaten all day! Giving birth is hard work and giving birth while having the flu is REALLY hard work! I was starving. There wasn't much open that time of night but Archie found a grocery store that was open late and bought me a sub sandwich, which I devoured.
They kept us in the hospital for a few days since I was so sick and to make sure my fever was just the flu and not a brewing infection, we went home on Thursday evening.
Monday, a week after he was born, we went for a check up and they discovered that his belly button was infected...so back to the hospital we went. He had IV antibiotics for 48 hours and then we were finally home again. I cried when they told me he had infection, not only was I worried about him, but I was still sick, and sore from a small tear I got while giving birth. Being in the hospital on a roll-away bed was so uncomfortable. I was so glad he was OK though!
One quick funny story from when Gideon was a baby. I was sitting at the desk with my back turned to Gideon who was on the floor on a blanket. He was about 3 or 4 months old. I heard a funny grunting noise, it was almost a happy grunting noise but it didn't sound normal. I turned around and there was Michael, sitting right on top of Gideon and Gideon smiling and grunting with his big brother sitting on him! (Michael was about 2 1/2 at this point).
I love you Gideon!
Friday, February 7, 2014
"Control is an illusion"
I heard this statement recently when Archie and I went to CURE's Hope and Healing weekend for parents who had lost children to cancer. Control is an illusion.
We often think we are in control of our lives. We have our plans for the day, the week, the month, the year, plans for our lives. Having plans does not make one in control.
2 years ago today I had plans. I was going to take Silas to see the Pediatrician in the morning, we would pick up a few things for Gideon's 9th birthday party and then get some lunch on the way home. I might have thought I was in control of what was happening that day, I thought I knew what I was going to do, I had decided how the day was going to go, but that's not what happened.
After hours of tests at the Pediatrician's office and at the local hospital, about 2:30 in the afternoon, the Doctor sat down with me (Silas was asleep in my arms for his afternoon nap), and told me that I had to take Silas right away to the nearest children's hospital to see a Pediatric Oncologist. She said if I didn't think I could drive that she would order an ambulance. I drove home, picked up Archie and we headed to Savannah. We were checking into the hospital at 5:30 and at 7:30 we were meeting the Oncologist who told us that they believed Silas, our 3 1/2 year old son, had a rare form of liver cancer but to be sure, they needed to do a biopsy the next day. The diagnosis was confirmed 3 days later and Silas and I didn't leave the hospital for 10 days.
A year ago we were so relieved because Silas' surgery to remove his tumors and reconstruct his vena cava had gone perfectly. He was doing well in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit and the Doctors were extremely pleased with how things were going. From what they could tell, they had gotten all of the cancer out with clear margins. The surgery was a great success and we were even being approached by the hospital's PR department about doing an interview for the press. At his 1 month post surgery check up, everything came crashing down on us as it was discovered during his CT scan that he had more than a dozen new tumors and there was nothing more they could do to cure him.
You think you are in control sometimes. But you really aren't. You think you can make plans and make things happen. Sometimes that's true, sometimes you can make things happen, but that doesn't mean you are really in control.
We didn't plan on cancer. We never even imagined cancer. But it happened and it took the life of our little boy.
Control is an illusion, that is when we believe ourselves to be in control. God, however, is in control. He is working all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. As He knit each of us together in our mothers wombs, He is knitting our lives together, working things out it ways that we cannot fathom or understand even if He explained it all to us! He can see all of the factors that come in to play and how they all work together. He guides each step we take.
He knew Silas had cancer from the moment it started growing. He directed us to seek out medical attention at the right time. (though I have often felt I should have taken him in sooner and insisted that something was wrong, I now trust that God directed the timing of the discovery of the cancer). He directed every person that was involved. He used us and Silas in so many ways to reach so many people. He used Silas' short life to reach others with the good news of Jesus. God was in control when Silas could no longer live in his earthly, cancer ravaged body, and He took Silas to Heaven, to the new body and new home He had prepared for him.
God is working things out that I do not even know about. He is in control and I am so glad He is. I am not in control, and I am so glad that I am not.
Philippians 4:4
We often think we are in control of our lives. We have our plans for the day, the week, the month, the year, plans for our lives. Having plans does not make one in control.
2 years ago today I had plans. I was going to take Silas to see the Pediatrician in the morning, we would pick up a few things for Gideon's 9th birthday party and then get some lunch on the way home. I might have thought I was in control of what was happening that day, I thought I knew what I was going to do, I had decided how the day was going to go, but that's not what happened.
After hours of tests at the Pediatrician's office and at the local hospital, about 2:30 in the afternoon, the Doctor sat down with me (Silas was asleep in my arms for his afternoon nap), and told me that I had to take Silas right away to the nearest children's hospital to see a Pediatric Oncologist. She said if I didn't think I could drive that she would order an ambulance. I drove home, picked up Archie and we headed to Savannah. We were checking into the hospital at 5:30 and at 7:30 we were meeting the Oncologist who told us that they believed Silas, our 3 1/2 year old son, had a rare form of liver cancer but to be sure, they needed to do a biopsy the next day. The diagnosis was confirmed 3 days later and Silas and I didn't leave the hospital for 10 days.
A year ago we were so relieved because Silas' surgery to remove his tumors and reconstruct his vena cava had gone perfectly. He was doing well in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit and the Doctors were extremely pleased with how things were going. From what they could tell, they had gotten all of the cancer out with clear margins. The surgery was a great success and we were even being approached by the hospital's PR department about doing an interview for the press. At his 1 month post surgery check up, everything came crashing down on us as it was discovered during his CT scan that he had more than a dozen new tumors and there was nothing more they could do to cure him.
You think you are in control sometimes. But you really aren't. You think you can make plans and make things happen. Sometimes that's true, sometimes you can make things happen, but that doesn't mean you are really in control.
We didn't plan on cancer. We never even imagined cancer. But it happened and it took the life of our little boy.
Control is an illusion, that is when we believe ourselves to be in control. God, however, is in control. He is working all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. As He knit each of us together in our mothers wombs, He is knitting our lives together, working things out it ways that we cannot fathom or understand even if He explained it all to us! He can see all of the factors that come in to play and how they all work together. He guides each step we take.
He knew Silas had cancer from the moment it started growing. He directed us to seek out medical attention at the right time. (though I have often felt I should have taken him in sooner and insisted that something was wrong, I now trust that God directed the timing of the discovery of the cancer). He directed every person that was involved. He used us and Silas in so many ways to reach so many people. He used Silas' short life to reach others with the good news of Jesus. God was in control when Silas could no longer live in his earthly, cancer ravaged body, and He took Silas to Heaven, to the new body and new home He had prepared for him.
God is working things out that I do not even know about. He is in control and I am so glad He is. I am not in control, and I am so glad that I am not.
Philippians 4:4
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Starting over
In many ways we have been starting life over since Silas passed away. A new chapter has begun and so many things are different now.
One of the big things is getting back to parenting. It sounds strange I know but for nearly 2 years we were not strict at all and the boys spent a lot of time doing what they wanted to do with few restrictions. More time than was good for them was spent on video games and watching TV, and too little time was spent on being responsible to keep the house tidy. We continued to homeschool but it was very "relaxed", more than I like.
We started school back in September, and while I still take a more relaxed approach to homeschooling than some, we do have more structure and a more solid plan for the year. So far I am really pleased with this school year and the boys are doing well in their studies.
I have also been re-reading "Have a new kid by Friday" by Dr. Kevin Leman. While I am not sure I agree with him 100% on everything, there are some good principles and we are trying to implement some new things and reintroduce some old things.
For example...
B doesn't happen until A is completed. If you haven't done what I have asked you to do, then when you want something or want to do something, the answer will be no. If I have asked a child to do a chore that I need to have done right away, and they don't do it right away, then I will ask another child to do the job for money and the first child has to pay them.
Say it once, walk away, and expect the child to obey. This one is really hard for me, I nag. I tell them to do something, and then keep "reminding" them until they do it. When I do this they get used to it and don't bother doing what I said the first time because they know I won't let it go until the job is done. That's not good! They need to get in the habit of doing what they are told the first time and not procrastinating. When they are all grown up and have jobs they will need to not only do what they are told, but they will need to take initiative!
Stay calm, don't yell. If I stay calm and in control of myself, they will learn to stay calm and in control of themselves. They will also listen better, I mean really, are you more likely to obey your boss if he/she is yelling at you and freaking out? Or if they stay calm and in control in tough situations. I think its the same with kids, if you stay calm and in control, they are more likely to learn to respect and obey you. Of course, not always, that's where consequences come in. There have to be consequences for disobeying and disrespecting.
Make expectations clear. I learned this lesson very well when I was 19 years old. I was in a situation where I was not clear on what was expected of me and a lot of hurt resulted. Ever since I have tried to be very clear about what I expect of others, and make sure that I understand others expectations of me. My children often get frustrated when I say "we'll see" when they ask if they can do something or have something later. I don't want to promise them anything and then it not work out. I don't want to automatically say no either with no explanation. Sometimes "we'll see" is the best answer I can give them. For example, Michael asks if he can play games on the computer, I might say "Not now, I need you to do x, y, and z right now", he says "well can I play after those things are done?", I will say "tell me when you are finished and we'll see". If I don't want him to play that day I will say "no, not today but you do need to do those chores". There have been times that the boys have done all of their school work and all of their chores and then said "can I play games now?" and I will say no because we are about to go somewhere or its nearly dinner time, etc. Then they will get really upset because they thought that if they did those things they could play. I hate when that happens so I try to let them know that they need to do their school work and chores because its the right thing to do, and that if we have free time after those things are done, they may ask to play games, but doing school work and chores doesn't earn them the right to play games. Also along the lines of making expectations clear, if I tell Gideon I want his bedroom cleaned, I try to make sure he and I are on the same page as to what constitutes a clean bedroom.
In the big picture I want my boys to be obedient, loving, sincere, helpful, respectful, diligent, hard working, strong, courageous, bold, trustworthy, and dependable. They are 13, 11, and 8 now, I feel like I have so little time left with them before they are all grown up, but I am determined to do the best I can with the time I have with them. Archie and I are no where near being perfect parents, but we are committed to raising our children in the Lord, to doing the best we can to raise our boys to serve the Lord and to do well in their lives. We will make mistakes (already have) but we will press on and continue to actively raise our boys.
One of the big things is getting back to parenting. It sounds strange I know but for nearly 2 years we were not strict at all and the boys spent a lot of time doing what they wanted to do with few restrictions. More time than was good for them was spent on video games and watching TV, and too little time was spent on being responsible to keep the house tidy. We continued to homeschool but it was very "relaxed", more than I like.
We started school back in September, and while I still take a more relaxed approach to homeschooling than some, we do have more structure and a more solid plan for the year. So far I am really pleased with this school year and the boys are doing well in their studies.
I have also been re-reading "Have a new kid by Friday" by Dr. Kevin Leman. While I am not sure I agree with him 100% on everything, there are some good principles and we are trying to implement some new things and reintroduce some old things.
For example...
B doesn't happen until A is completed. If you haven't done what I have asked you to do, then when you want something or want to do something, the answer will be no. If I have asked a child to do a chore that I need to have done right away, and they don't do it right away, then I will ask another child to do the job for money and the first child has to pay them.
Say it once, walk away, and expect the child to obey. This one is really hard for me, I nag. I tell them to do something, and then keep "reminding" them until they do it. When I do this they get used to it and don't bother doing what I said the first time because they know I won't let it go until the job is done. That's not good! They need to get in the habit of doing what they are told the first time and not procrastinating. When they are all grown up and have jobs they will need to not only do what they are told, but they will need to take initiative!
Stay calm, don't yell. If I stay calm and in control of myself, they will learn to stay calm and in control of themselves. They will also listen better, I mean really, are you more likely to obey your boss if he/she is yelling at you and freaking out? Or if they stay calm and in control in tough situations. I think its the same with kids, if you stay calm and in control, they are more likely to learn to respect and obey you. Of course, not always, that's where consequences come in. There have to be consequences for disobeying and disrespecting.
Make expectations clear. I learned this lesson very well when I was 19 years old. I was in a situation where I was not clear on what was expected of me and a lot of hurt resulted. Ever since I have tried to be very clear about what I expect of others, and make sure that I understand others expectations of me. My children often get frustrated when I say "we'll see" when they ask if they can do something or have something later. I don't want to promise them anything and then it not work out. I don't want to automatically say no either with no explanation. Sometimes "we'll see" is the best answer I can give them. For example, Michael asks if he can play games on the computer, I might say "Not now, I need you to do x, y, and z right now", he says "well can I play after those things are done?", I will say "tell me when you are finished and we'll see". If I don't want him to play that day I will say "no, not today but you do need to do those chores". There have been times that the boys have done all of their school work and all of their chores and then said "can I play games now?" and I will say no because we are about to go somewhere or its nearly dinner time, etc. Then they will get really upset because they thought that if they did those things they could play. I hate when that happens so I try to let them know that they need to do their school work and chores because its the right thing to do, and that if we have free time after those things are done, they may ask to play games, but doing school work and chores doesn't earn them the right to play games. Also along the lines of making expectations clear, if I tell Gideon I want his bedroom cleaned, I try to make sure he and I are on the same page as to what constitutes a clean bedroom.
In the big picture I want my boys to be obedient, loving, sincere, helpful, respectful, diligent, hard working, strong, courageous, bold, trustworthy, and dependable. They are 13, 11, and 8 now, I feel like I have so little time left with them before they are all grown up, but I am determined to do the best I can with the time I have with them. Archie and I are no where near being perfect parents, but we are committed to raising our children in the Lord, to doing the best we can to raise our boys to serve the Lord and to do well in their lives. We will make mistakes (already have) but we will press on and continue to actively raise our boys.
Sunday, January 5, 2014
Gardening and pets
I am really excited about gardening this year. Right now I am doing research on what I want to plant and when it should be planted. It will be so nice to have veggies that we grew ourselves! It is hard not to get carried away, there is so much I would like to grow! I am making an effort to do my research though and not attempt anything that is too challenging. If I can grow some easy things first then in future years I can add in more difficult things.
Of course I am also making plans for chickens as well. We have picked out a spot for the chicken coop and have started making plans for it. As soon as there is a warm day I will go out and start clearing the area. It will be a make-shift chicken pen. I plan to use the dog pen and make some modifications, add a roof, roosting, etc. Hopefully we can get some chickens by the end of March.
We got a new puppy on New Year's Eve. He is very cute! 1/2 Bluetick, 1/4 bull dog, and 1/4 dachshund. He is going to be little I think. He is very playful and not yet house trained, although as the weather warms up I am hoping he will be a mostly outside dog like Knight. Knight comes in on occasion but he doesn't know how to behave himself in the house. I would like to teach him to come in just to sleep at night when its cold, or just to come in and lay on the floor in the Summer when its hot. He is almost 2 years old and wants to get into everything when he comes in the house! Daisy of course is house trained and knows how to behave herself inside and outside, although she prefers to be inside. She will be 6 years old this year. The puppy's name is Smokey and he just turned 8 weeks on Friday.
I am currently trying to kick the kitten out of the house. We let him stay in at first because he was so cold and nearly died, but now he is strong and healthy and I see no reason for him to be in the house when its not freezing outside! My poor allergies have been awful. I love cats, but they make me miserable. We have two outdoor cats, Sushi and Rainbow. I like them just fine. They brush up against my legs when I walk outside but that's it. They don't bother me and I don't bother them. I think all of the animals know I am in charge, I am the one who says where they can go and I am the one who makes sure they get fed (I tell the boys to do it, I rarely feed them myself).
Of course I am also making plans for chickens as well. We have picked out a spot for the chicken coop and have started making plans for it. As soon as there is a warm day I will go out and start clearing the area. It will be a make-shift chicken pen. I plan to use the dog pen and make some modifications, add a roof, roosting, etc. Hopefully we can get some chickens by the end of March.
We got a new puppy on New Year's Eve. He is very cute! 1/2 Bluetick, 1/4 bull dog, and 1/4 dachshund. He is going to be little I think. He is very playful and not yet house trained, although as the weather warms up I am hoping he will be a mostly outside dog like Knight. Knight comes in on occasion but he doesn't know how to behave himself in the house. I would like to teach him to come in just to sleep at night when its cold, or just to come in and lay on the floor in the Summer when its hot. He is almost 2 years old and wants to get into everything when he comes in the house! Daisy of course is house trained and knows how to behave herself inside and outside, although she prefers to be inside. She will be 6 years old this year. The puppy's name is Smokey and he just turned 8 weeks on Friday.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Happiness isn't the point
I have recently realized that happiness isn't the point. It shouldn't be the goal of our lives to attain it, nor should it be our focus in life.
The point of our lives should be to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength, to praise Him with all that is in us! That is the point, that should be our goal, our aim, our focus. Rather than running after happiness, I should be running after God, seeking to live my life in worship of Him, resting in His peace, love, and forgiveness. I should be soaking in His Words in the Bible and lifting up my voice in praise for His mighty works!
Happiness is nice, it feels good to be happy, but the lack of happiness in our lives doesn't mean that something is wrong. Bad things happen, unspeakable evil exists in this world, people die, children die, we hurt each other, and we suffer pain. There are times in our lives where we cannot even remember what it was like to be happy, but that's OK as long as we still have joy! It is OK to NOT always be happy!
I am not always happy, but I do always have joy. Deep joy, that comes from knowing God and having peace with Him. That joy that comes from knowing that everything is in His hands and all will work out better than anyone can imagine. I know deep in my soul that God is good, that He loves me, and that He is working everything out for the ultimate good of everyone who believes. I have such deep joy knowing that in the end, everything will be set right and I will be with the Lord in Heaven for all of eternity.
This year will be Silas' best year ever, He is with Jesus in Heaven! I don't know what this year has in store for me, but I know the Lord has not forsaken me. He will be with me and will guide me through whatever comes. Happiness comes and goes but the closer I stick with Him, the more joy there will be through it all.
Joy to the World
The point of our lives should be to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength, to praise Him with all that is in us! That is the point, that should be our goal, our aim, our focus. Rather than running after happiness, I should be running after God, seeking to live my life in worship of Him, resting in His peace, love, and forgiveness. I should be soaking in His Words in the Bible and lifting up my voice in praise for His mighty works!
Happiness is nice, it feels good to be happy, but the lack of happiness in our lives doesn't mean that something is wrong. Bad things happen, unspeakable evil exists in this world, people die, children die, we hurt each other, and we suffer pain. There are times in our lives where we cannot even remember what it was like to be happy, but that's OK as long as we still have joy! It is OK to NOT always be happy!
I am not always happy, but I do always have joy. Deep joy, that comes from knowing God and having peace with Him. That joy that comes from knowing that everything is in His hands and all will work out better than anyone can imagine. I know deep in my soul that God is good, that He loves me, and that He is working everything out for the ultimate good of everyone who believes. I have such deep joy knowing that in the end, everything will be set right and I will be with the Lord in Heaven for all of eternity.
This year will be Silas' best year ever, He is with Jesus in Heaven! I don't know what this year has in store for me, but I know the Lord has not forsaken me. He will be with me and will guide me through whatever comes. Happiness comes and goes but the closer I stick with Him, the more joy there will be through it all.
Joy to the World
- Verse 1
Joy to the world! the Lord is come;
Let earth receive her King;
Let every heart prepare him room,
And heaven and nature sing,
And heaven and nature sing,
And heaven, and heaven, and nature sing.
Let earth receive her King;
Let every heart prepare him room,
And heaven and nature sing,
And heaven and nature sing,
And heaven, and heaven, and nature sing.
- Verse 2
Joy to the world! the Saviour reigns;
Let men their songs employ;
While fields and floods, rocks, hills, and plains
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat, repeat the sounding joy.
Let men their songs employ;
While fields and floods, rocks, hills, and plains
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat, repeat the sounding joy.
- Verse 3
No more let sins and sorrows grow,
Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found,
Far as the curse is found,
Far as, far as, the curse is found.
Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found,
Far as the curse is found,
Far as, far as, the curse is found.
- Verse 4
He rules the world with truth and grace,
And makes the nations prove
The glories of His righteousness,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders, wonders, of His love.
And makes the nations prove
The glories of His righteousness,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders, wonders, of His love.
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