Christmas - looking back and looking forward

Though neither of us would ever admit it at the time, I believe Archie and I both knew that Christmas last year would be Silas' last Christmas on this Earth. We said "what if it is?" but never, "I think this will be".

It was the biggest year for gifts that our family has ever seen! One of Silas' nurses shared his story on a Savannah radio station and they asked people to send gifts for our family. We did not know about it until right before it happened. They invited us to come have lunch in Savannah one day with other families that had been featured on the radio and we received a TON of gifts and gift cards for our family, particularly for Silas. On top of that we had several other groups come together and bring Christmas gifts for the boys! We never asked for any of it, and I tried to tell people we had plenty, but the gifts kept coming. We donated some of them to the children's hospital in Savannah, we mailed some off for other children fighting cancer, and the boys enjoyed many of them themselves.

It felt awkward being on the receiving end of such generosity. We tried to be gracious and thankful. We tried to be generous with others as well.

We wrestled with feeling that so much excess would cloud the true meaning of Christmas. (Though we certainly acknowledged Jesus and His birth). We wrestled with feeling that there were so many other people out there in need and here we were being given more than we needed!

Looking back, remembering how excited the boys were to receive the gifts they were given, and how excited they were to send gifts to other kids. The thoughts that comfort me are 1. How blessed those people who gave were for their generosity and 2. Michael, Gideon, and Jason will always look back and say "Our last Christmas with Silas was the best one ever".

Looking forward to this Christmas. As every year, I hope that we can help our boys see past all of the gifts and decorations, and see Jesus. That they will see the gift that God gave us in sending His one and only Son. That they can see the love that God showed us in giving us life and salvation. That they will see that the blessing we receive by giving to others is far greater than the blessing of receiving gifts ourselves. I am hoping that we will have many opportunities to give this year. Though we do not have as much as some, we have more than others and I pray the Lord will show us how and where to give.