Fear of what others think

I always feel like I am not doing enough, even when I am doing a lot. Whenever I have a bad day and don't feel well or am actually sick and can't do anything (or only a little), I start feeling horribly guilty for all of the days that I felt well or even just better and didn't accomplish anything!

Mothers have a never ending list of things to do. I am pretty sure it's all mothers, not just me. Laundry, dishes, sweeping, vacuuming, scrubbing, driving all over the place, grocery shopping, paying bills, teaching children to do chores, cooking, cleaning out the car, gardening, homeschooling (in my case), etc. Then if you work outside the home, you can add a lot of other things on top of all that!

I have a problem with worrying too much what others think of me as well. I think that is a big part of the reason I slack off blogging. I get lots of ideas, I write blogs in my head all the time. Sometimes I actually type up blogs but never post them. Always second guessing myself for fear of being criticized.

Going back to the fear of not doing enough, I think this has roots in fear of  what others think of me. I have let other people's standards dictate what I think I should be doing.

How much better would it be if I looked only to the Lord for what I should be doing? If I stopped comparing myself to others? If I look closely enough, even those who seem to do it all have shortcomings of their own. Perhaps having a little criticism would not be so bad for me? Perhaps I could learn things from others opinions or observations? Perhaps I am my own harshest critic?

What if holding back is preventing me from being a blessing to others? What if I am allowing fear of people to stand in the way of sharing with others the wonderful things the Lord has shown me, taught me, and is working in my life? What if others could be blessed, encouraged, and brought closer to the Lord if I could be bold and confident?

Father, make me who You want me to be. Mold me into a vessel fit for Your purposes. Give me a willing heart, free from fear of people, and courageous to do what You have called me to. In Jesus Name. Amen.