11 years ago today I had the flu. Yuck. At least I think that's the last time I can remember having the flu! Hopefully it won't catch up with me again anytime soon.
I woke up about 4 AM and my back was really hurting. I couldn't sleep. I was 39 1/2 weeks pregnant with my second child. I had asked them not to tell me the gender but when I watched the ultrasound I was pretty sure I was seeing boy parts.
Anyway, I took a hot shower hoping it would make my back feel better. I realized I was having contractions as well. After I got out of the shower I started timing them, they were coming every 4-5 minutes. I was a little nervous because we were 45 minutes away from the hospital where I was supposed to deliver. My first labor had been 13 hours but I had always heard second babies came faster. I called the nurse and she told me to eat a light breakfast, try to relax, and keep timing the contractions. She said if they got closer together to head to the hospital. By 7:30 they were about every 3 minutes. I was so afraid it was a false alarm, I had a lot of those with my first baby. I felt sick and hungry. I told Archie that if it was a false alarm I wanted to go out for pancakes before heading home. My sister was staying with Michael, and it was Archie's day off, a Monday.
We arrived at the hospital about 8:30 AM. I was already tired and my back was still hurting. I got checked in and sure enough, I was in labor! My contractions were regular and strong and I was 3 cm dilated. I was a little disappointed, I was hungry and they wouldn't let me eat. I did manage to sneak in an apple but it didn't fill me up.
Hours and hours later, about 5 PM I was only at 5 cm and was feverish. Gideon's heart rate did not seem to be handling the contractions as well anymore, they told me that he and I were exhausted. My Doctor wasn't on duty, but the doctor who was came in to see me. She walked in and said "Well, lets give you some pitocin and if you haven't progressed in the next couple of hours we'll prep you for a c-section". Whoa!! What an introduction! I was NOT happy. I did not want a c-section or pitocin. I was so exhausted though (remember I had the flu and a fever), I let them give me pitocin. Things progressed quickly from there and just before 9 PM it was time to push. I only pushed for about 3 minutes and at 8:54 PM Gideon Elisha Edenfield was born. Weighing in at 9 lbs 12 oz. and 21 inches long! Even though he was smaller than Michael had been at birth (11 lbs 4 oz.) Gideon had a bigger look about him.
As soon as we were both cleaned up and resting comfortably I begged Archie for food! I hadn't eaten all day! Giving birth is hard work and giving birth while having the flu is REALLY hard work! I was starving. There wasn't much open that time of night but Archie found a grocery store that was open late and bought me a sub sandwich, which I devoured.
They kept us in the hospital for a few days since I was so sick and to make sure my fever was just the flu and not a brewing infection, we went home on Thursday evening.
Monday, a week after he was born, we went for a check up and they discovered that his belly button was infected...so back to the hospital we went. He had IV antibiotics for 48 hours and then we were finally home again. I cried when they told me he had infection, not only was I worried about him, but I was still sick, and sore from a small tear I got while giving birth. Being in the hospital on a roll-away bed was so uncomfortable. I was so glad he was OK though!
One quick funny story from when Gideon was a baby. I was sitting at the desk with my back turned to Gideon who was on the floor on a blanket. He was about 3 or 4 months old. I heard a funny grunting noise, it was almost a happy grunting noise but it didn't sound normal. I turned around and there was Michael, sitting right on top of Gideon and Gideon smiling and grunting with his big brother sitting on him! (Michael was about 2 1/2 at this point).
I love you Gideon!
Monday, February 10, 2014
Friday, February 7, 2014
"Control is an illusion"
I heard this statement recently when Archie and I went to CURE's Hope and Healing weekend for parents who had lost children to cancer. Control is an illusion.
We often think we are in control of our lives. We have our plans for the day, the week, the month, the year, plans for our lives. Having plans does not make one in control.
2 years ago today I had plans. I was going to take Silas to see the Pediatrician in the morning, we would pick up a few things for Gideon's 9th birthday party and then get some lunch on the way home. I might have thought I was in control of what was happening that day, I thought I knew what I was going to do, I had decided how the day was going to go, but that's not what happened.
After hours of tests at the Pediatrician's office and at the local hospital, about 2:30 in the afternoon, the Doctor sat down with me (Silas was asleep in my arms for his afternoon nap), and told me that I had to take Silas right away to the nearest children's hospital to see a Pediatric Oncologist. She said if I didn't think I could drive that she would order an ambulance. I drove home, picked up Archie and we headed to Savannah. We were checking into the hospital at 5:30 and at 7:30 we were meeting the Oncologist who told us that they believed Silas, our 3 1/2 year old son, had a rare form of liver cancer but to be sure, they needed to do a biopsy the next day. The diagnosis was confirmed 3 days later and Silas and I didn't leave the hospital for 10 days.
A year ago we were so relieved because Silas' surgery to remove his tumors and reconstruct his vena cava had gone perfectly. He was doing well in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit and the Doctors were extremely pleased with how things were going. From what they could tell, they had gotten all of the cancer out with clear margins. The surgery was a great success and we were even being approached by the hospital's PR department about doing an interview for the press. At his 1 month post surgery check up, everything came crashing down on us as it was discovered during his CT scan that he had more than a dozen new tumors and there was nothing more they could do to cure him.
You think you are in control sometimes. But you really aren't. You think you can make plans and make things happen. Sometimes that's true, sometimes you can make things happen, but that doesn't mean you are really in control.
We didn't plan on cancer. We never even imagined cancer. But it happened and it took the life of our little boy.
Control is an illusion, that is when we believe ourselves to be in control. God, however, is in control. He is working all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. As He knit each of us together in our mothers wombs, He is knitting our lives together, working things out it ways that we cannot fathom or understand even if He explained it all to us! He can see all of the factors that come in to play and how they all work together. He guides each step we take.
He knew Silas had cancer from the moment it started growing. He directed us to seek out medical attention at the right time. (though I have often felt I should have taken him in sooner and insisted that something was wrong, I now trust that God directed the timing of the discovery of the cancer). He directed every person that was involved. He used us and Silas in so many ways to reach so many people. He used Silas' short life to reach others with the good news of Jesus. God was in control when Silas could no longer live in his earthly, cancer ravaged body, and He took Silas to Heaven, to the new body and new home He had prepared for him.
God is working things out that I do not even know about. He is in control and I am so glad He is. I am not in control, and I am so glad that I am not.
Philippians 4:4
We often think we are in control of our lives. We have our plans for the day, the week, the month, the year, plans for our lives. Having plans does not make one in control.
2 years ago today I had plans. I was going to take Silas to see the Pediatrician in the morning, we would pick up a few things for Gideon's 9th birthday party and then get some lunch on the way home. I might have thought I was in control of what was happening that day, I thought I knew what I was going to do, I had decided how the day was going to go, but that's not what happened.
After hours of tests at the Pediatrician's office and at the local hospital, about 2:30 in the afternoon, the Doctor sat down with me (Silas was asleep in my arms for his afternoon nap), and told me that I had to take Silas right away to the nearest children's hospital to see a Pediatric Oncologist. She said if I didn't think I could drive that she would order an ambulance. I drove home, picked up Archie and we headed to Savannah. We were checking into the hospital at 5:30 and at 7:30 we were meeting the Oncologist who told us that they believed Silas, our 3 1/2 year old son, had a rare form of liver cancer but to be sure, they needed to do a biopsy the next day. The diagnosis was confirmed 3 days later and Silas and I didn't leave the hospital for 10 days.
A year ago we were so relieved because Silas' surgery to remove his tumors and reconstruct his vena cava had gone perfectly. He was doing well in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit and the Doctors were extremely pleased with how things were going. From what they could tell, they had gotten all of the cancer out with clear margins. The surgery was a great success and we were even being approached by the hospital's PR department about doing an interview for the press. At his 1 month post surgery check up, everything came crashing down on us as it was discovered during his CT scan that he had more than a dozen new tumors and there was nothing more they could do to cure him.
You think you are in control sometimes. But you really aren't. You think you can make plans and make things happen. Sometimes that's true, sometimes you can make things happen, but that doesn't mean you are really in control.
We didn't plan on cancer. We never even imagined cancer. But it happened and it took the life of our little boy.
Control is an illusion, that is when we believe ourselves to be in control. God, however, is in control. He is working all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. As He knit each of us together in our mothers wombs, He is knitting our lives together, working things out it ways that we cannot fathom or understand even if He explained it all to us! He can see all of the factors that come in to play and how they all work together. He guides each step we take.
He knew Silas had cancer from the moment it started growing. He directed us to seek out medical attention at the right time. (though I have often felt I should have taken him in sooner and insisted that something was wrong, I now trust that God directed the timing of the discovery of the cancer). He directed every person that was involved. He used us and Silas in so many ways to reach so many people. He used Silas' short life to reach others with the good news of Jesus. God was in control when Silas could no longer live in his earthly, cancer ravaged body, and He took Silas to Heaven, to the new body and new home He had prepared for him.
God is working things out that I do not even know about. He is in control and I am so glad He is. I am not in control, and I am so glad that I am not.
Philippians 4:4
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