New hobby

Since having children I have not put a whole lot of time into hobbies. I used to paint before I had kids, I'd like to get back to that one of these days. Now that the children I have with me are older (Jason is 8 1/2), it is a little easier to work on little projects.

I made some jewelry last year, bracelets and rings, I sold them all to raise money for St. Baldrick's at a fundraiser we went to! I had made most of them in July and August last year, not really knowing what I would do with them, but it worked out great and I raised quite a bit for St. Baldrick's.

In January I wondered in to Michael's (the craft store) and saw some gold sashay yarn. I had seen the ruffled scarves and had thought I would like one in gold. The instructions on the package were for knitting a scarf so I bought knitting needles as well. I went home and looked up a few videos on Youtube on how to make these sashay scarves and then got to it! They said it was supposed to take 3-4 hours, well, it took me more like 8, but after a couple of days of working on it, it was finished.

 I have had so many compliments on it and even someone who offered consignment if I would make some for her store! I made about half a dozen for her I think. It is kind of the wrong time of year for scarves though, but maybe they will sell in the fall. I also made a few scarves for friends and family. I made a camouflage scarf for Jason!

Then I wanted to try knitting something else. I had heard that people who used knit dishcloths were so happy with them that they never used anything else! I was intrigued by this and thought I'd give it a shot. I looked up some free patterns online but was not having much luck, even though a lot of them said "beginner", they were more complicated than I could figure out. I finally watched a video showing how to make a basic dishcloth. I ended up making a bunch of those for consignment as well! We'll see how they sell. I have made a bunch for myself as well. I really like using them a lot, I have replaced all of my sponges with these. I don't use them much myself however, since my 13 year old does most of the dishes these days and my 8 and 11 year olds do most of the wiping off of the table. I also use them for coasters.

Now that I am learning more, different stitches and patterns, even making up some of my own patterns, I want to try making something a little bigger. I am working on a little purse for one of my nieces and I am thinking I might as well make purses for all 4 of my nieces. I'll have to figure out something for my nephews as well but I am not sure what, they are all a year and under. I saw some knit sea turtle patterns that are really cute but I am not quite there yet in my knitting skills. I am sure I'll think of something. I would really like to try knitting a baby blanket as well, I can already picture it in my head. 

At some point I will have to get some more yarn, but I do have a collection that has been accumulated over the last few years for various projects. I often find myself walking through the yarn section of Wal-mart when I make my weekly shopping trip there, and I often find myself picking up a ball of the $1.47 yarn. 

I think one of the reasons I am enjoying this so much, is that it keeps my hands busy, and when its done, it stays done! Unlike dishes, laundry, and pretty much all other house work. Christmas is coming up in just 9 months, perhaps I can figure out some knitting projects that can be gifts and get started on those now :)

Happy Birthday Gideon!

11 years ago today I had the flu. Yuck. At least I think that's the last time I can remember having the flu! Hopefully it won't catch up with me again anytime soon.

I woke up about 4 AM and my back was really hurting. I couldn't sleep. I was 39 1/2 weeks pregnant with my second child. I had asked them not to tell me the gender but when I watched the ultrasound I was pretty sure I was seeing boy parts.

Anyway, I took a hot shower hoping it would make my back feel better. I realized I was having contractions as well. After I got out of the shower I started timing them, they were coming every 4-5 minutes. I was a little nervous because we were 45 minutes away from the hospital where I was supposed to deliver. My first labor had been 13 hours but I had always heard second babies came faster. I called the nurse and she told me to eat a light breakfast, try to relax, and keep timing the contractions. She said if they got closer together to head to the hospital. By 7:30 they were about every 3 minutes. I was so afraid it was a false alarm, I had a lot of those with my first baby. I felt sick and hungry. I told Archie that if it was a false alarm I wanted to go out for pancakes before heading home. My sister was staying with Michael, and it was Archie's day off, a Monday.

We arrived at the hospital about 8:30 AM. I was already tired and my back was still hurting. I got checked in and sure enough, I was in labor! My contractions were regular and strong and I was 3 cm dilated. I was a little disappointed, I was hungry and they wouldn't let me eat. I did manage to sneak in an apple but it didn't fill me up.

Hours and hours later, about 5 PM I was only at 5 cm and was feverish. Gideon's heart rate did not seem to be handling the contractions as well anymore, they told me that he and I were exhausted. My Doctor wasn't on duty, but the doctor who was came in to see me. She walked in and said "Well, lets give you some pitocin and if you haven't progressed in the next couple of hours we'll prep you for a c-section". Whoa!! What an introduction! I was NOT happy. I did not want a c-section or pitocin. I was so exhausted though (remember I had the flu and a fever), I let them give me pitocin. Things progressed quickly from there and just before 9 PM it was time to push. I only pushed for about 3 minutes and at 8:54 PM Gideon Elisha Edenfield was born. Weighing in at 9 lbs 12 oz. and 21 inches long! Even though he was smaller than Michael had been at birth (11 lbs 4 oz.) Gideon had a bigger look about him.

As soon as we were both cleaned up and resting comfortably I begged Archie for food! I hadn't eaten all day! Giving birth is hard work and giving birth while having the flu is REALLY hard work! I was starving. There wasn't much open that time of night but Archie found a grocery store that was open late and bought me a sub sandwich, which I devoured.

They kept us in the hospital for a few days since I was so sick and to make sure my fever was just the flu and not a brewing infection, we went home on Thursday evening.

Monday, a week after he was born, we went for a check up and they discovered that his belly button was infected...so back to the hospital we went. He had IV antibiotics for 48 hours and then we were finally home again. I cried when they told me he had infection, not only was I worried about him, but I was still sick, and sore from a small tear I got while giving birth. Being in the hospital on a roll-away bed was so uncomfortable. I was so glad he was OK though!

One quick funny story from when Gideon was a baby. I was sitting at the desk with my back turned to Gideon who was on the floor on a blanket. He was about 3 or 4 months old. I heard a funny grunting noise, it was almost a happy grunting noise but it didn't sound normal. I turned around and there was Michael, sitting right on top of Gideon and Gideon smiling and grunting with his big brother sitting on him! (Michael was about 2 1/2 at this point).

I love you Gideon!

"Control is an illusion"

I heard this statement recently when Archie and I went to CURE's Hope and Healing weekend for parents who had lost children to cancer. Control is an illusion.

We often think we are in control of our lives. We have our plans for the day, the week, the month, the year, plans for our lives. Having plans does not make one in control.

2 years ago today I had plans. I was going to take Silas to see the Pediatrician in the morning, we would pick up a few things for Gideon's 9th birthday party and then get some lunch on the way home. I might have thought I was in control of what was happening that day, I thought I knew what I was going to do, I had decided how the day was going to go, but that's not what happened.

After hours of tests at the Pediatrician's office and at the local hospital, about 2:30 in the afternoon, the Doctor sat down with me (Silas was asleep in my arms for his afternoon nap), and told me that I had to take Silas right away to the nearest children's hospital to see a Pediatric Oncologist. She said if I didn't think I could drive that she would order an ambulance. I drove home, picked up Archie and we headed to Savannah. We were checking into the hospital at 5:30 and at 7:30 we were meeting the Oncologist who told us that they believed Silas, our 3 1/2 year old son, had a rare form of liver cancer but to be sure, they needed to do a biopsy the next day. The diagnosis was confirmed 3 days later and Silas and I didn't leave the hospital for 10 days.

A year ago we were so relieved because Silas' surgery to remove his tumors and reconstruct his vena cava had gone perfectly. He was doing well in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit and the Doctors were extremely pleased with how things were going. From what they could tell, they had gotten all of the cancer out with clear margins. The surgery was a great success and we were even being approached by the hospital's PR department about doing an interview for the press. At his 1 month post surgery check up, everything came crashing down on us as it was discovered during his CT scan that he had more than a dozen new tumors and there was nothing more they could do to cure him.

You think you are in control sometimes. But you really aren't. You think you can make plans and make things happen. Sometimes that's true, sometimes you can make things happen, but that doesn't mean you are really in control.

We didn't plan on cancer. We never even imagined cancer. But it happened and it took the life of our little boy.

Control is an illusion, that is when we believe ourselves to be in control. God, however, is in control. He is working all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. As He knit each of us together in our mothers wombs, He is knitting our lives together, working things out it ways that we cannot fathom or understand even if He explained it all to us! He can see all of the factors that come in to play and how they all work together. He guides each step we take.

He knew Silas had cancer from the moment it started growing. He directed us to seek out medical attention at the right time. (though I have often felt I should have taken him in sooner and insisted that something was wrong, I now trust that God directed the timing of the discovery of the cancer). He directed every person that was involved. He used us and Silas in so many ways to reach so many people. He used Silas' short life to reach others with the good news of Jesus. God was in control when Silas could no longer live in his earthly, cancer ravaged body, and He took Silas to Heaven, to the new body and new home He had prepared for him.

God is working things out that I do not even know about. He is in control and I am so glad He is. I am not in control, and I am so glad that I am not.

Philippians 4:4

Starting over

In many ways we have been starting life over since Silas passed away. A new chapter has begun and so many things are different now.

One of the big things is getting back to parenting. It sounds strange I know but for nearly 2 years we were not strict at all and the boys spent a lot of time doing what they wanted to do with few restrictions. More time than was good for them was spent on video games and watching TV, and too little time was spent on being responsible to keep the house tidy. We continued to homeschool but it was very "relaxed", more than I like.

We started school back in September, and while I still take a more relaxed approach to homeschooling than some, we do have more structure and a more solid plan for the year. So far I am really pleased with this school year and the boys are doing well in their studies.

I have also been re-reading "Have a new kid by Friday" by Dr. Kevin Leman. While I am not sure I agree with him 100% on everything, there are some good principles and we are trying to implement some new things and reintroduce some old things.

For example...

B doesn't happen until A is completed. If you haven't done what I have asked you to do, then when you want something or want to do something, the answer will be no. If I have asked a child to do a chore that I need to have done right away, and they don't do it right away, then I will ask another child to do the job for money and the first child has to pay them.

Say it once, walk away, and expect the child to obey. This one is really hard for me, I nag. I tell them to do something, and then keep "reminding" them until they do it. When I do this they get used to it and don't bother doing what I said the first time because they know I won't let it go until the job is done. That's not good! They need to get in the habit of doing what they are told the first time and not procrastinating. When they are all grown up and have jobs they will need to not only do what they are told, but they will need to take initiative!

Stay calm, don't yell. If I stay calm and in control of myself, they will learn to stay calm and in control of themselves. They will also listen better, I mean really, are you more likely to obey your boss if he/she is yelling at you and freaking out? Or if they stay calm and in control in tough situations. I think its the same with kids, if you stay calm and in control, they are more likely to learn to respect and obey you. Of course, not always, that's where consequences come in. There have to be consequences for disobeying and disrespecting.

Make expectations clear. I learned this lesson very well when I was 19 years old. I was in a situation where I was not clear on what was expected of me and a lot of hurt resulted. Ever since I have tried to be very clear about what I expect of others, and make sure that I understand others expectations of me. My children often get frustrated when I say "we'll see" when they ask if they can do something or have something later. I don't want to promise them anything and then it not work out. I don't want to automatically say no either with no explanation. Sometimes "we'll see" is the best answer I can give them. For example, Michael asks if he can play games on the computer, I might say "Not now, I need you to do x, y, and z right now", he says "well can I play after those things are done?", I will say "tell me when you are finished and we'll see". If I don't want him to play that day I will say "no, not today but you do need to do those chores". There have been times that the boys have done all of their school work and all of their chores and then said "can I play games now?" and I will say no because we are about to go somewhere or its nearly dinner time, etc. Then they will get really upset because they thought that if they did those things they could play. I hate when that happens so I try to let them know that they need to do their school work and chores because its the right thing to do, and that if we have free time after those things are done, they may ask to play games, but doing school work and chores doesn't earn them the right to play games. Also along the lines of making expectations clear, if I tell Gideon I want his bedroom cleaned, I try to make sure he and I are on the same page as to what constitutes a clean bedroom.

In the big picture I want my boys to be obedient, loving, sincere, helpful, respectful, diligent, hard working, strong, courageous, bold, trustworthy, and dependable. They are 13, 11, and 8 now, I feel like I have so little time left with them before they are all grown up, but I am determined to do the best I can with the time I have with them. Archie and I are no where near being perfect parents, but we are committed to raising our children in the Lord, to doing the best we can to raise our boys to serve the Lord and to do well in their lives. We will make mistakes (already have) but we will press on and continue to actively raise our boys.

Gardening and pets

I am really excited about gardening this year. Right now I am doing research on what I want to plant and when it should be planted. It will be so nice to have veggies that we grew ourselves! It is hard not to get carried away, there is so much I would like to grow! I am making an effort to do my research though and not attempt anything that is too challenging. If I can grow some easy things first then in future years I can add in more difficult things.

Of course I am also making plans for chickens as well. We have picked out a spot for the chicken coop and have started making plans for it. As soon as there is a warm day I will go out and start clearing the area. It will be a make-shift chicken pen. I plan to use the dog pen and make some modifications, add a roof, roosting, etc. Hopefully we can get some chickens by the end of March.

We got a new puppy on New Year's Eve. He is very cute! 1/2 Bluetick, 1/4 bull dog, and 1/4 dachshund. He is going to be little I think. He is very playful and not yet house trained, although as the weather warms up I am hoping he will be a mostly outside dog like Knight. Knight comes in on occasion but he doesn't know how to behave himself in the house. I would like to teach him to come in just to sleep at night when its cold, or just to come in and lay on the floor in the Summer when its hot. He is almost 2 years old and wants to get into everything when he comes in the house! Daisy of course is house trained and knows how to behave herself inside and outside, although she prefers to be inside. She will be 6 years old this year. The puppy's name is Smokey and he just turned 8 weeks on Friday.

I am currently trying to kick the kitten out of the house. We let him stay in at first because he was so cold and nearly died, but now he is strong and healthy and I see no reason for him to be in the house when its not freezing outside! My poor allergies have been awful. I love cats, but they make me miserable. We have two outdoor cats, Sushi and Rainbow. I like them just fine. They brush up against my legs when I walk outside but that's it. They don't bother me and I don't bother them. I think all of the animals know I am in charge, I am the one who says where they can go and I am the one who makes sure they get fed (I tell the boys to do it, I rarely feed them myself).

Happiness isn't the point

I have recently realized that happiness isn't the point. It shouldn't be the goal of our lives to attain it, nor should it be our focus in life.

The point of our lives should be to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength, to praise Him with all that is in us! That is the point, that should be our goal, our aim, our focus. Rather than running after happiness, I should be running after God, seeking to live my life in worship of Him, resting in His peace, love, and forgiveness. I should be soaking in His Words in the Bible and lifting up my voice in praise for His mighty works!

Happiness is nice, it feels good to be happy, but the lack of happiness in our lives doesn't mean that something is wrong. Bad things happen, unspeakable evil exists in this world, people die, children die, we hurt each other, and we suffer pain. There are times in our lives where we cannot even remember what it was like to be happy, but that's OK as long as we still have joy! It is OK to NOT always be happy!

I am not always happy, but I do always have joy. Deep joy, that comes from knowing God and having peace with Him. That joy that comes from knowing that everything is in His hands and all will work out better than anyone can imagine. I know deep in my soul that God is good, that He loves me, and that He is working everything out for the ultimate good of everyone who believes. I have such deep joy knowing that in the end, everything will be set right and I will be with the Lord in Heaven for all of eternity.

This year will be Silas' best year ever, He is with Jesus in Heaven! I don't know what this year has in store for me, but I know the Lord has not forsaken me. He will be with me and will guide me through whatever comes. Happiness comes and goes but the closer I stick with Him, the more joy there will be through it all.

Joy to the World

Verse 1

Joy to the world! the Lord is come;
Let earth receive her King;
Let every heart prepare him room,
And heaven and nature sing,
And heaven and nature sing,
And heaven, and heaven, and nature sing.

Verse 2

Joy to the world! the Saviour reigns;
Let men their songs employ;
While fields and floods, rocks, hills, and plains
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat, repeat the sounding joy.

Verse 3 

No more let sins and sorrows grow,
Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found,
Far as the curse is found,
Far as, far as, the curse is found.

Verse 4

He rules the world with truth and grace,
And makes the nations prove
The glories of His righteousness,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders, wonders, of His love.

Reading the Bible

My Grandmother Golightly read through the Bible each  year. I remember when we visited she always took the time to read, no matter what else was going on. She knew how important it was.

When I was 12 years old I rededicated my life to the Lord at Summer camp, and at 13 I told the Lord that I would read through the whole Bible by the time I was 18. I didn't quite finish by my 18th birthday, but I did finish reading through the whole Bible about a week after my 18th birthday. And let me tell you, I am NOT a great reader! I do enjoy reading, but it is a challenge for me, and was even more so as a teenager. I have read through the whole Bible a couple of times since then, and have always made it my goal to read at least a little of it every day, but I have not made it a practice to read through the whole Bible each year.

2 years ago I was doing a 1 year through the Bible reading plan. I was doing well and had kept up with it all the way until February 7th. That day Silas was admitted to the hospital for a biopsy and a few days later, his first dose of chemo therapy followed by a blood transfusion. I kept up with my Bible reading the first few days of the 10 day hospital stay but then I got off track. I continued to read my Bible most days but did not keep up with the 1 year through the Bible plan. This past year I read often but not every day. The past few months my goal has been 2 chapters a day.

This coming year I am going to give this plan a shot. I really like that it has a make-up day! https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/71-come-drink-live-365

God's Word, the Bible, is so very important, it is where we read the Words of God to us. Even if you don't have a particular plan, I would encourage you to read the Bible daily! Invite the Holy Spirit to open your eyes and speak to you through God's Word, it will change your life!

Don't have a Bible? There are many websites and apps for Bible reading! http://www.biblegateway.com/

If you want a paper Bible there are many churches out there that would be happy to give you one for free! Check with a church near you!