A prayer for my Daughters-in-law

I have all boys. I imagine the chances are pretty good that at least one, if not all 3 of the sons I am raising will get married one day. I have often prayed for my future daughter/s in law though not as often as I should. My prayers for them are sometimes short and sweet, and sometimes more detailed and longer. I think it would be great if I remembered to pray for them more often, maybe I should make a note to myself on my calendar!

Whoever my sons choose as wives, I am determined to be the best mother-in-law I can be. I want to do everything I can to get along with my daughters-in-law, to encourage them, to be there for them, and to bless them. I know that the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship is notoriously challenging, but I also know, that if I rely on the Lord for His help, I could have a very special relationship with my future daughters-in-law.

Father in Heaven, thank you for my boys. Thank you for the opportunity to raise them. I ask for your help to raise them to be godly men, husbands, and fathers. I pray that you would help guide Archie and I in raising each of them to reach their fullest potential. That they would love You more than anything else. That they would be wonderful husbands and that they would each find the wife that You have chosen for them. That they would be wonderful fathers and raise up wonderful children.

Father, I pray for my future daughters-in-law. I pray that You would bless them today. I ask that if they do not know you as their Lord and Savior, that you would place people in their lives that would lead them to You. That You would make Yourself known to them in a very real way today. I ask for Your protection over them. That in this evil world we live in, that You would keep them safe from harm, from the influences of this corrupt world, from Satan's schemes. I ask that You would work in their lives, even now as children, to make them good and godly women, wives, and mothers. That each of them would be exactly the kind of wife that each of my sons need. Father, I ask that you would equip them to be wise, strong, patient, determined, godly, self-controlled, peaceable, good communicators, quick to forgive, affectionate, and loving. Equip each of them to serve You in whatever way You have planned for them.

Father, bless my future daughters-in-law today. I pray that You would wrap Your arms around them and pour out abundant blessings upon them!

Oh Heavenly Father, help Archie and I to raise our sons well. I ask that You would give us wisdom in doing so. Thank you again for the blessings You have given us!

In Jesus name I pray,
Amen.

Work!

That's what I did on my trip to California!

Jason and I flew out to California a couple of weeks ago to help my parents sort through stuff in their house to help them prepare to move to Northern California from Southern California. They have lived in that house for the past 17 years! When they moved in all 5 of us kids were still living at home, but now, none of us are.

3 of my siblings and their families also came to help with the sorting and packing. I think I was expecting to get more done, but it was pretty tiring work and with all of the kids to keep us busy in addition to the other work, not quite as much got done as I was hoping for. We made a dent though. I think we at least got the ball rolling and it will be a little easier for my parents to keep going and get rid of more stuff and get things packed. It will take a while but they don't plan to move until the fall so there is time.

I am so happy I took dust masks for us to wear while we worked. It wasn't so bad in some parts of the house but when it came to dealing with books, old school supplies, and stuffed animals it was quite dusty!

Jason really enjoyed playing with his cousins. Especially Victoria who is just 5 months older than Silas, so she is 6 1/2 now.

We did get to go to the beach a couple of times and spent a day at Disneyland with my brother and his wife, and their 1 year old son. Jason really enjoyed that a lot!

I wish I lived closer so I could keep helping.

After all that work, throwing away many things, giving away many things, selling things at the yard sale, all of that has made me want to go through my own things here at home and get rid of things. I have realized there are so many things I own that I really have no use for! So why keep them? I've already gotten rid of a few things in the last few days since I got home, and hopefully I can keep up the momentum and get rid of some more useless items over the next few weeks and months.

It is true that none of the things we own really matter. We keep things that are useful, things that are sentimental, sometimes we keep things just because we don't take the time to get rid of them, but really, we can't take anything with us when we die, and nothing we own has eternal value. So if its not useful, or particularly special to me, I'd really rather it have a new home. The tricky thing of course is the part where we place sentimental value on things. I need to work on doing less of that.

Cravings

I have been doing pretty well the last 3 months with my eating, not perfect, but pretty well. When I over indulge now its too many pieces of low carb, gluten free, refined sugar free, angel food cake or too many pieces of fruit instead of what I used to indulge in. Cake, cookies, pizza...

Still. I have been aiming to not "indulge" in anything. I want to eat for fuel. Not that I can't enjoy what I eat, but I don't want to eat for the sake of eating. I want to eat to fuel my body.

The past 3 weeks or so have been difficult emotionally. The date marking 1 year since Silas passed away was not so bad, but the week building up to that date was very emotional. Remembering the pain and torment of the previous year. The agony of knowing Silas was dying but not knowing when or how it would happen. The desire for him to go to Heaven and get his new body that would have no cancer in it, but the painful realization that that would mean a separation from him. We stayed home that day and just hung out around the house. We visited the cemetery that evening.

2 days ago was his birthday. It was so much harder for me than the anniversary of his passing. He was supposed to be turning 6 this year. Although it was the second birthday since he went to Heaven, it seemed like the first. Last year his birthday came just 10 days after he went to Heaven and we were still in shock. I cried a lot on his birthday this year. I miss him so much. What would he be like as a 6 year old? He was supposed to be finishing Kindergarten. Learning to read and write. Would he be taller? What size clothes would he wear now? What color would his hair be now? Would it be brown like it used to be when he was little? or would it have stayed blonde like it was coming in after the chemo?

During these weeks of heightened emotion I have been having cravings again. For the last few months I really haven't been craving "junk" food. I was actually surprised that I had come to turn my nose up when given the opportunity to indulge in something I knew was bad for me. But these past few weeks, I found myself craving those old favorite comfort foods. I was taken by surprise, but maybe I shouldn't have been.

I have not indulged in those old favorites, though I have found myself reaching for the tastier of the healthy foods I have come to enjoy, and I am afraid too much of them.

Now that I am realizing this, I also need to realize that I am not really craving food. I am craving comfort. I am craving peace. I am craving stability. I am craving Jesus. He is the only one who can truly offer me what I crave. He is the only one who can offer me true comfort during this painful time. After all, I was designed to need Him and He is everything I need.

You may have heard the phrase "we all have a God shaped hole in our heart". This is true. We are not complete without the Lord God in our lives. When He is in our lives, we experience true joy, true peace, true comfort, and true wholeness.

Happy Birthday Silas!

Silas was due to be born around, well, sometime between May 17 and May 24, they never quite decided on a due date. By the time I got to June the Doctor decided it was really time for him to be born whether he wanted to come out or not. I was really ready for him to be born too! I had tried everything (within reason) to bring on labor myself, but nothing was working.

My mom and Archie came to the hospital with me for the induction while my dad stayed home with Michael, Gideon, and Jason. Then ages 7, 5, and 2. I had been contracting for weeks, but none of them were strong enough to be real labor. Which was rather funny because I actually went into preterm labor with Silas at 31 weeks! They were able to stop my labor with drugs at the hospital. That was pretty scary.

When we arrived Tuesday morning for the induction I was already a little dilated so they started me on pitocin to induce labor. I was so uncomfortable! I tossed and turned, getting up to walk or sit on the birth ball whenever they would let me. I was pretty miserable though. Hour after hour passed and my progress was very slow. I labored all through the night and early in the morning the pain started getting worse. They gave me a dose of a pain med in my IV but it didn't help much. Just when I thought I couldn't make it another minute, and told them I needed a epidural (something I have never had but always end up asking for moments before its time to push!). The nurse checked me and sure enough, it was just about time to start pushing.

I was totally exhausted. I almost felt too tired to push. It only took about 5 minutes to push him out though. I had to stop once his head was out because the cord was wrapped too tightly around his neck for the rest of him to come out, the Doctor cut it off of his neck and then the rest of him slid out. I collapsed back onto the bed completely worn out!

Besides being a 23 1/2 hour labor, it had been a long pregnancy, full of morning sickness too! Although it was not really morning sickness, it was more like 24/7 sickness. I hardly got out of bed the first  5 months of my pregnancy as it usually made me throw up to do anything.

Anyway, as I lay there after giving birth I had to talk myself into lifting my head off the pillow to look at the beautiful child I had just pushed out. I lifted my head and smiled at him and then collapsed back onto my pillow. They dried him off and weighed him and then brought him to me. 9 lbs. 6 oz. and 19 inches long. My shortest , but second lightest baby.

Silas Nathanael Edenfield. Born June 4, 2008 at 9:27 AM.

Archie and my mom were almost as tired as I was. Later that day the older boys came to visit us in the hospital. They all got to hold him, and he seemed as interested in them as they were in him! We had 4 boys!

So there you have it, Silas' birth story :)

I only spent 4 birthdays with him, and I cherish every one of them. I don't know if birthdays are celebrated in Heaven or not, but I am sure if they are, he's had a couple of great ones up there these last two!

Gluten, emotional eating, and receiving comfort from the Lord

It has been about a month since I started my gluten free diet. I have still occasionally eaten grains but they are few and far between. No gluten though. I think I've been pretty good about keeping down the cross contamination too. I have not noticed any difference in how I feel. I don't think that means anything necessarily but I think I was expecting to notice something. I have had about the same number of "crampy" days as usual, 2-3 a month. I have been strict too, no gluten at all. I read somewhere that if you are gluten sensitive that any amount of gluten is harmful, there is no such thing as a "low gluten" diet. I also read that for women with endometriosis who want to try gluten free to see if it helps relieve cramping, they should go gluten free for 2 months, then eat a piece of bread. If it makes them sick, then they are gluten sensitive and should continue on the gluten free diet. If it does not affect them at all, then they are probably not gluten sensitive and a gluten free diet is not likely to help their endo symptoms. Hmm. Maybe I will go another month and try the piece of bread and see how I react. I am curious.

During this last week or two, leading up to the 1 year anniversary of Silas' going home to Heaven, I have been more emotional than usual. There have been a few days that I could hardly get myself to do anything. Some days taking a walk is the only thing I get done. I have walked though. I have eaten healthy foods, but I have noticed that I am eating more than I need to. Even though the foods are healthy, doesn't mean I can stuff myself silly with them. I need to work on that. I need to be turning more to the Lord and not food, not even healthy food, for comfort.

The Lord is giving me comfort, He is strengthening me. I can feel His presence right now. I need to accept, lean into, and receive His comfort. I cannot get that kind of comfort anywhere else.

If you will, pray for us over the next few days. We miss Silas.

1 Chronicles 16

I have been reading the stories of David in my Bible readings over the past few weeks and what God said of David really has struck me...that David was a man after God's own heart. What exactly does that mean? David made a lot of mistakes, with Bathsheba, with his sons, surely many more things too, but what is it about him that made him a man after God's own heart?

Perhaps it was that he always turned back to the Lord after his failures? Perhaps it was his heart of worship that is so evident in the Psalms that he wrote? Whatever it was, I want to be a woman after God's own heart. I want to always turn back to Him when I fall, I want to always seek His will in my life, I want to have a heart of worship, and to bring honor and glory to His name with everything in my life.

When the Ark of God was put in the Tabernacle that David had built for it there was celebration and David blessed the people and gave them gifts of food. It was good for the Ark of God to be in that place and he rejoiced. The Psalm he wrote for this occasion really touched my heart today.

Oh, give thanks to the Lord!
Call upon His name;
Make known His deeds among the peoples!
9 Sing to Him, sing psalms to Him;
Talk of all His wondrous works!
10 Glory in His holy name;
Let the hearts of those rejoice who seek the Lord!
11 Seek the Lord and His strength;
Seek His face evermore!
12 Remember His marvelous works which He has done,
His wonders, and the judgments of His mouth,
13 O seed of Israel His servant,
You children of Jacob, His chosen ones!

14 He is the Lord our God;
His judgments are in all the earth.
15 Remember His covenant forever,
The word which He commanded, for a thousand generations,
16 The covenant which He made with Abraham,
And His oath to Isaac,
17 And confirmed it to Jacob for a statute,
To Israel for an everlasting covenant,
18 Saying, “To you I will give the land of Canaan
As the allotment of your inheritance,”
19 When you were few in number,
Indeed very few, and strangers in it.

20 When they went from one nation to another,
And from one kingdom to another people,
21 He permitted no man to do them wrong;
Yes, He rebuked kings for their sakes,
22 Saying, “Do not touch My anointed ones,
And do My prophets no harm.”[a]

23 Sing to the Lord, all the earth;
Proclaim the good news of His salvation from day to day.
24 Declare His glory among the nations,
His wonders among all peoples.

25 For the Lord is great and greatly to be praised;
He is also to be feared above all gods.
26 For all the gods of the peoples are idols,
But the Lord made the heavens.
27 Honor and majesty are before Him;
Strength and gladness are in His place.

28 Give to the Lord, O families of the peoples,
Give to the Lord glory and strength.
29 Give to the Lord the glory due His name;
Bring an offering, and come before Him.
Oh, worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness!
30 Tremble before Him, all the earth.
The world also is firmly established,
It shall not be moved.

31 Let the heavens rejoice, and let the earth be glad;
And let them say among the nations, “The Lord reigns.”
32 Let the sea roar, and all its fullness;
Let the field rejoice, and all that is in it.
33 Then the trees of the woods shall rejoice before the Lord,
For He is coming to judge the earth.[b]

34 Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good!
For His mercy endures forever.[c]
35 And say, “Save us, O God of our salvation;
Gather us together, and deliver us from the Gentiles,
To give thanks to Your holy name,
To triumph in Your praise.”

36 Blessed be the Lord God of Israel
From everlasting to everlasting![d]

And all the people said, “Amen!” and praised the Lord.

"Make known His deeds among the peoples", I should be telling everyone the wonderful things the Lord has done in my life. His wonderful works! He has done so many good things for me, for my family.

"Proclaim the good news of His salvation". What good news indeed! He has saved me from death and destruction, He has saved me for His glory and for an eternal home in Heaven with Him.

"For the Lord is great, and greatly to be praised, He is also to be feared above all gods". There is no God but Him. There is nothing that can compare with Him, there is nothing more important than a relationship with Him.

All creation praises Him and declares His majesty. May I praise Him and declare His majesty all of my days! He is worth to be praised! I will give Him the glory due His name. As long as I live, His praise will be on my lips, and since He has saved me, I will live eternally with Him, so His praise will be on my lips for all eternity!

Love your brother!

Little brothers have a habit of annoying big brothers from time to time (and sometimes all the time), this has certainly been the case in our home! Jason seems to take great pleasure in annoying his brothers at times. Sometimes he does not like the results though.

The other day Gideon was really struggling with wanting to "whack" Jason as he put it, because he was "driving him crazy". So I said to Gideon, how about this, every time Jason annoys you, give him a big bear hug and say "I love you". He thought this was a great idea. Yesterday he started implementing it!

All day long I heard Gideon's voice "I love you Jason", over and over again. Jason seemed rather perplexed by all of this love. Later I overheard Gideon saying to Michael "you really should try this! It really works!". I was so proud of Gideon :)

I am not sure Gideon realizes yet that it is his own heart that is changing towards his brother, not necessarily his brother's behavior, although I think that will change too. A little positive attention from his big brother will encourage Jason a lot I think.

I have always told the boys, you could potentially be each others best friends for life. I have also told them that if they can learn to get along with each other, then they can learn to get along with anyone. Dealing with their brothers is preparing them for dealing with everyone else out there in the world. What a blessing to have brothers :)